Are you considering therapy but aren’t sure if therapy is definitely for you? If so, this article is one you’ll want to read as I go through why you want to work with a therapist as opposed to ‘see’ a therapist and how to tell if you do need to work with one or not.
I know it might sound like I’m being a little pedantic.
Or like one of those co-workers who likes to point out every single grammatical mistake you’ve ever made.
But the reason I’m making the distinction between ‘seeing’ a therapist and ‘working’ with a therapist is because language and the language we use has the power to affect what we think, feel and believe about ourselves and the world around us.
And that includes how we ‘see’ and interact with therapists and the therapy process itself.
Therefore, why in this article I want to show you why you aren’t ‘seeing’ a therapist and instead why you’re WORKING with a therapist.
Alongside, how to be able to tell whether you need to work with one or not.
So, let’s get started.
How language affects the way we see ourselves
Just to show you the power of language, a study conducted by a Japanese researcher called Dr. Masaru Emoto showed ‘how water exposed to loving, benevolent, and compassionate [words] results in [visually] pleasing physical molecular formations in the water while water exposed to fearful and discordant [words] results in disconnected, disfigured, and “unpleasant” physical molecular formations’.
What this means for us (considering the human body is made up of 60% water, according to medicalnewtoday.com), therefore, is when we think loving, kind and compassionate thoughts towards others and ourselves, the body experiences positive sensations and movements.
Whereas when we think of so-called ‘negative’ thoughts like fear, anger and judgement, the body experiences negative side effects.
And, therefore, can result in the experience of physical ailments.
LEARN MORE: To see the images of the water formations, see here. Although to really understand the significance of this, you might want to watch the documentary What the Bleep Do We Know!? as it goes through in more detail what this means for each person individually.
Why you want to work with a therapist NOT see a therapist?
So I hope you can see, if something as small as the experiment above can have an effect on our body’s, then so too can the words and language we use to describe what we’re doing with a therapist, influence our mindset around choosing to work with a therapist or not.
And in putting 100% into our therapy sessions, which also includes what we do in between therapy sessions too.
LEARN MORE: 3 TOOLS TO GROW OUTSIDE THERAPY SESSIONS
What ‘seeing’ a therapist implies?
Saying you’re going to ‘see’ a therapist is an automatic response we’ve become so used to hearing from others and eventually saying ourselves.
However, that doesn’t mean we can’t change our language going forward, to be able to see the people, places, situations and experiences in our outer environment, like therapists and therapy themselves, differently to how we’ve always viewed them to be able to change our relationship to them.
But to be able to do that we first need to know the significance of our words since it’s only by knowing the significance of something can we make new life choices and changes within our lives.
And that includes the decision to work with a therapist or not.
So let’s now take a look at what both ‘seeing’ a therapist and ‘working’ with a therapist implies.
1. Working with a therapist is of no significance
When you ‘see’ a therapist it almost implies that you’re not really doing anything of significance and are just going there for a bit of a chit chat, when that isn’t in the slightest bit true.
And, especially since we know it takes so much courage to actually go through working with a therapist that if it was only a bit of a “chit chat” and of no significance, we wouldn’t find it so hard to take the plunge and admit to ourselves and others, we might be in need of working with one?
Yes culturally there has been shame and stigma attached to working with a therapist, but that’s not the only reason it’s so difficult.
It’s the act of having to face ourselves and all the bits we don’t like about ourselves, on a subconscious level, that makes it so difficult too.
2. ‘Seeing’ a friend
Second of all (and feeding into the one above), it’s like you’re putting them in the category of a friend, since ‘seeing’ is usually what we’d say about meeting up with a friend.
However, working with a therapist is far more than simply ‘seeing’ a therapist since, as I’ve said, they’re not there for a nice chit chat like your friends might be.
They’re instead there to do a job and to provide you with a service that’s going to pull you through the challenges that you’re facing in your life.
And, therefore, where your friends are unable to support you since if you were to treat your friends like your therapist, you’d drive them away and I know (see: HOW TO MAKE MORE FRIENDS WHEN YOU FIND IT SO HARD TO?).
Similarly, if you were to treat your therapist like a friend and vice versa, you and they would be lying and doing you a disservice since the whole purpose of working with a therapist is to get something from them that you can’t get from anywhere else in your life.
Therefore, leaving you with less than you signed up for, even if you didn’t really know the full extent of what you were signing up for, to begin with.
What working with a therapist implies?
Working with a therapist, on the other hand, has far better connotations than ‘seeing’ a therapist.
And actually makes you feel like you’re working hard (like you would a job) to achieve something for yourself, which we all know is something each and every one of us takes pride in as the notion of work gives us a sense of purpose, importance and meaning within our lives.
But that’s not the only correlation we can make between working at a job and working with a therapist. There are others too.
1. Working with a therapist is a professional working relationship
I’ve spoken about treating therapy like a full-time job in my article here>>>HOW TO TREAT THERAPY TO BE ABLE TO SEE RESULTS IN YOUR LIFE?
However, what goes hand in hand with treating therapy like a full-time job is treating the relationship with your therapist as a professional one.
In other words, as you would probably work and interact with your co-workers since that’s exactly what working with a therapist is; a co-creation of an outcome but one for you and your life, not somebody else’s.
This, however, will of course take time for you to develop with your therapist, since, like all relationships, it will take a degree of time to feel comfortable in their presence to be able to see your relationship as a collaboration.
2. There’s an aim
Unlike when you see a friend, the goal isn’t to have a good time.
The goal is to support you in understanding (overtime)…
- The struggles you’re facing
- To think differently about the struggles you’re facing; and
- To provide you with tools and strategies different to the ones you learnt to use growing up, so you can improve your relationships, including the one with yourself, and therefore, make your life better.
Although, in saying that, that’s not to say therapy can’t be fun at times.
Especially when you learn how to take on responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, actions and reactions and can see how each of these, are causing a specific result to occur in your life.
Therefore, helping you to also see what new life choices you can make to change the results you’re getting in your life.
Why you want to work with a therapist NOT see a therapist?
So now we’ve looked at the difference between seeing and working with a therapist, let’s take a look at some of the common reasons why you’d want to work with a therapist.
see work with a Counselling Psychotherapist
Here are the top 5 reasons to work with a Counselling Psychotherapist:
1. You’re not happy with the results you’re getting in one (or more) areas of your life
Sadly, unlike a test at school, if you’re unhappy with the results you’re getting in life, you can’t simply retake the test and do it again to get better results.
Instead, you’ve got to put in a lot more effort, time and patience working with a Counselling Psychotherapist in order to identify what you’re doing wrong or what you have been doing wrong and what you can start doing differently in your life.
2. You’re underperforming at work
When your performance at work is suffering and you’re suffering as a result because you feel like you’re making mistake, after mistake, after mistake, it’s time to throw in the towel and say I need to work with a therapist.
Rather than wait for the second, third or fourth time for something to happen before you take the plunge and do something about it.
Because it’s likely it’s your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about yourself, others and work itself that are getting in the way of you succeeding.
3. You wish you were a better person
We all have a desire to be better and to do better but the struggle comes when we’ve got no clue how to do it.
And when we believe we can’t be any different to how we’ve always known ourselves to be.
Therefore, why working with a Counselling Psychotherapist is the right solution for you, as it was me.
LEARN MORE: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE BY CHANGING THIS ONE BELIEF
4. You’re jealous of other people
You don’t need to be jealous of other people because you know what, if there wasn’t a part of you that wasn’t already like those you’re jealous of, you wouldn’t be jealous of them.
But all you need to do now is find a way to unlock what they’ve got and are willing to demonstrate, within you.
In addition, you can have whatever they have in life, except if you’re expecting it to look exactly like what they’ve got and for it to happen, exactly how it happened for them, then you’re setting yourself up for failure.
The reason for this is we’re all unique, with our very own individual wants, needs and desires, which means you need to find your very own unique way of getting what they have. If, of course, what they have is truly what you want too.
5. You want more meaningful relationships in your life
Some people have too many friends to count but not any truly meaningful relationships.
Others have only a handful of relationships and might even experience a number of struggles with them, even if they don’t necessarily want to admit it to themselves because they believe having friends is better than having none.
And then there are others who isolate themselves from others to avoid the potential of getting hurt by them when deep down they want nothing more than to be close to others.
In each case, however, not one of these are happy with their relationships because they haven’t established a core relationship with themselves first.
6. You’re in suffering
Suffering is when you’re hurting day in day out and what you ‘think’ life is, is having an effect on your outer reality.
So what this looks like is you’re hurting the people around you, which in fact results in you pushing them away to the point they no longer really want to be around you but you can’t understand why.
Reasons not to
see work with a therapist
You might not think there are any reasons to not work with a therapist and I would be inclined to agree with you in most cases.
However, there is at the least one instance I would say it’s better not for you to work with a therapist.
1. You don’t want to work with a therapist
If you’re only choosing to work with a therapist because someone is telling you to work with one, then it’s probably best you don’t work with one.
Why? because you’re going to be less open to it than were you to choose on your own accord to work with a therapist yourself because you’ve hit a breaking point and you can no longer take your suffering.
This, therefore, would also mean you’d be less likely to waste your time and money in therapy.
If of course, however, you don’t really deep down want to work with a therapist but still have even a small part of you that has a desire to try it, then it’s better to go ahead with it than not.
But there are people who under no circumstances want to work with a therapist, even when somebody has recommended it to them and so it’s to those who I’m referring this to.
Summary: Why you want to work with a therapist NOT see a therapist?
So there you have it, why you want to work with a therapist…
Firstly, because of the connotations ‘seeing’ a therapist has over ‘working’ with a therapist.
And secondly because you want to help yourself in making changes within your life.
Now over to you…
I would love to know whether you’ve been swayed to work with a Counselling Psychotherapist or not and why, so let me know in the comments section below.
- 3 QUALITIES YOU NEED TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR PSYCHOTHERAPY SESSIONS
- DOES SEEING A THERAPIST MAKE YOU WEAK? 15 REASONS WHY IT DOESN’T
- 5 WAYS NOT TO WASTE YOUR TIME (OR MONEY) ON PSYCHOTHERAPY
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