The way you see yourself, the way you feel about yourself, day in day out, matters because it directs every single action you decide to take.
To know how you view and feel about yourself, you only need to listen to your inner voice each day.
It is, therefore, your inner voice which Psychotherapy will support you to change and by doing this, you change the game period.
You change the way you interact with others and how others interact with you. You change which experiences you’ll engage in and which ones you dismiss as you’ll begin to make decisions which are more aligned with your new beliefs and values.
And in doing this, you’ll create a life you love, a life you never dreamed could be possible for you.
The reason your inner voice is important in changing the way you see yourself is because it gives you an indication as to what it is you believe about yourself, in relation, to others.
As you read this, you might be thinking you can do this alone without needing to pay a Psychotherapist, but this isn’t possible.
This is because we have become so accustomed to believing certain things about ourselves, that we accept them.
Therefore, making it difficult for us to see our inner voice and beliefs objectively, in the same way, a Psychotherapist can.
What are beliefs?
You may not be able to see how your beliefs create your reality, however, beliefs are incredibly powerful whether you are consciously aware of their power or not.
They are passed down to us from generation to generation, as we move through childhood into adulthood, through our families, schools, the media, religion, our cultures, society and our perceptions of how others treat us.
Therefore, as we go through life, we accumulate several beliefs about who we believe ourselves to be, treating them as facts, ‘accepting and considering them to be true’ even though they are not facts, so may not be true.
For instance, we may interpret the behaviour of others towards us, whether positive or negative, as a sign as to what those behaviours mean about us, even if those behaviours do not mean anything about us, but are instead indications of the speakers own beliefs.
It is, therefore, as a result of these beliefs, we can remain stagnant in life, rather than progress.
These beliefs are also what are known as self-limiting beliefs. The power of self-limiting beliefs can be seen in this next example…
You may constantly think you’re stupid, unworthy or not good enough in comparison to other people. Therefore, when you do achieve even a little bit of success, you may find a way to thwart it, because achieving it, would mean your beliefs about yourself do not align with the reality, which will fracture your identity.
This ‘fracturing of identity’, therefore, is why we need the support of a Psychotherapist, because our ego cannot let our identity to fracture, because if it does, the question remains, what do we replace our old identity with? and because we don’t have the answer to this question, we remain the same.
Further, not all your self-limiting beliefs are visible to you, as many of them are hidden in your subconscious mind, which is another way Psychotherapists support you, as they make the unconscious conscious.
A Psychotherapist, therefore, has the appropriate means to be able to support you in questioning your beliefs so you can interpret them differently to how you have always interpreted them.
Replacing your old identity with a new identity
Going back to this idea of a fractured identity, Psychotherapy can support you with creating a new identity for yourself through showing you there is a fundamental core essence to you (as there is to everyone else) based on love, joy, gratitude, happiness, playfulness etc.
Psychotherapy, therefore, will support you in finding your way back to this essence through supporting you with making peace with your past and who you are today as a result of your past experiences.
To see how exactly Psychotherapy can support you in replacing your old identity with a new identity through challenging your beliefs, let’s take a closer examination at the belief ‘I am not good enough’.
1) Honouring you
The self-limiting belief, ‘I am not good enough’ is powerful as it can lead you (as it did me) to believing and valuing the opinions, perspectives and beliefs of others, more so than your own, and believing others are better than you, rather than as equal and different.
This further leads you to wishing you were someone different to the person you are, and so finds you conforming to the ideas, opinions, beliefs and perspectives of others, so you can fit in with them.
However, Psychotherapy can support you to stop agreeing, listening and accepting what others are telling you at face value, through showing you how to honour yourself and to question both yours and others thoughts, feelings, beliefs and perspectives.
2) You are complete and whole as you are
The self-limiting belief ‘I’m not good enough’ can also lead you to believe there is something fundamentally missing within you which needs ‘fixing’, leaving you also with the belief, there is something wrong with you.
This leads you to constantly strive for more than you need in your life, and wanting to be better than the person you were yesterday, rather than simply BEing the person you are as you are today, at this moment.
Psychotherapy can support you to remove and replace this belief, however, with the belief, you are whole and complete as you are in this very moment.
It will, of course, take time for your subconscious mind to believe this, but if you keeping showing up to the weekly sessions for one or more years, and you instil the tools and practices given to you into your daily life, over time you will embed this new belief into your subconscious mind.
On a final note, when working to change any belief, you must give yourself compassion because if you take the time to think about it, it has taken you as long as the age you’re reading this to have installed the belief ‘I’m not good enough’, so to uninstall it, whilst it will not take as long as your age, it will take one or more years.
I raise this because it’s easy to quit Psychotherapy believing it’s not working after six months to a year, but through giving yourself the compassion, you can continue with the Psychotherapy sessions, knowing there is nothing else out there that will be able to support you in the same way Psychotherapy can.
To further support you with finding compassion for yourself during testing times, you may also find it beneficial to read Gabrielle Bernstein’s book The Universe has your Back.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog post, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.
And, if you’re not already…
- 3 ways Psychotherapy can support you
- How Psychotherapy can help you to change your life for the better
- 3 fears standing in between you and a better life
- 10 steps to success without sacrificing your happiness
- Learn how to start putting yourself first
- Unhappy with life? 4 reasons why and how Psychotherapy can help