Do you believe you can take steps to success without sacrificing your happiness?
If the answer is no, in today’s blog post I’ll show you exactly how it’s possible.
1) Embrace who you are
I’ve spoken about embracing who you are in my blog post How (and why) to change the way you see yourself.
And the risks of not embracing who you are.
However, there is a more significant risk of not embracing who you are than what I discussed in that blog post.
And that’s either:
- achieving success at the sacrifice of your own happiness; or
- not reaching success or finding happiness at all
You and I were born with a unique set of experiences, qualities, strengths, mental maps, ideas, wants and interests.
And that’s okay.
As long as, you embrace the unique experiences, qualities, strengths, mental maps, ideas, wants and interests you have.
Instead of wishing you were someone different to who you are.
As I discuss in my blog post Unhappy with life? 4 reasons why and how Psychotherapy can help.
Otherwise, you lose your authentic self.
Therefore, preventing you from taking steps to success without sacrificing your happiness.
So if you do anything make it your mission to embrace who you are.
- Loving every part of who you are
- Not judging or criticising yourself
- Not allowing others to treat you in a way you do not want to be treated; and
- Listening to your wants, needs, desires, likes and dislikes
However, I realise this is easier said than done.
Therefore, why I recommend visiting your GP and asking for a list of therapy practices in your area.
So you can see a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist (like I did) to start feeling happier and more confident with who you are and your life.
Since this is what offsets everything else I’ll be discussing in this post.
2) Listen to your small inner voice
You have two voices in your head.
The voice, which speaks to you loud and clearly every single day, day in day out.
And, a smaller inner voice.
Your small inner voice is the quieter, softer sound, which comes in, in times of need.
Or it’s the feeling you get unexpectedly about someone or something in your life.
For instance, it will tell you something isn’t right, even if at that moment in time you don’t know exactly what isn’t right.
It’s the voice, which tells you it’s safe to go here and not here, whilst the second voice is the one who puts on the breaks and says:
“No don’t do that, what will other people think?”
” I can’t make that work, I’ve got bills to pay,”
So in other words, your second voice is the one who cares so much about what’s going on outside of you.
Whereas, your smaller inner voice truly knows who you are, what you want and what you need to do.
And if you observe it closely you’ll realise it acts as your internal navigation system, which has no problem ignoring outside noise.
Something your other voice is so easily influenced and succumbed by.
3) Ignore outside noise
What do I mean by ignore outside noise?
Outside noise is paying attention to what others are saying and doing to the point where you drown out your own small inner voice.
Yes, you can do research to gain a different perspective and be inspired by others.
But ultimately you have to go inward and prioritise listening to your small inner voice.
Hence, as Marie Forleo says why it’s important to dedicate time for you to create before you start consuming the content of others.
Since it’s incredibly easy to become so clouded and caught up in what other people are saying and doing.
Instead of focusing on what we need to do with our own lives.
4. Carve out lots of downtime
You can’t come to new insights if your attention is constantly focused on what’s going on in your outside environment.
On your social media accounts and what so and so is saying and doing.
Or are constantly running around here, there and everywhere.
So carving out lots of downtime with no noise and no one to disturb you is incredibly important.
This includes meditating, reflecting, sitting and doing nothing to see what thoughts, memories and feelings come up.
If any difficult ones do arise, then you can make a point to discuss these with your therapist so you can overcome the difficult feelings attached to them.
5) Stop believing others have something you don’t
Are you forever comparing yourself to others and wishing you were able to achieve what others have achieved?
Considering them ‘lucky’ for having achieved what they have.
Listen to these thoughts of jealousy as Julia Cameron says in her book The Artists Way: A Course in Discovering and Recovering Your Creative Self.
Since these thoughts are showing you what it is you want, but you don’t believe you can have.
Therefore, is a belief you need to change because you are just as capable of achieving what you want as other people are.
6) Recognise there isn’t one way of achieving success
According to the World Population Clock, there are 7.8 billion people in the world.
Therefore, there are 7.8 billion people with different mental maps, experiences, qualities, strengths and ideas, which means there are 7.8 billion formula’s to success.
One formula for each person in the world.
One formula, which works only for you and no-one else.
So your mission is to figure out how to achieve that success for yourself.
However, you’ll not figure it out all at once.
It’s a ‘complete one step at a time’ kinda process and the rest will reveal itself to you as you go along the path.
7) Focus your attention on making a difference
Why do you want success?
- Impress others?
- Be rich?
- Escape a situation you are unhappy with?
- Finally, feel confident enough to to get whatever else you want in life?
If it’s any of the above these are the wrong reasons for wanting to achieve success.
Since if these are your intentions, even once you achieve the success you desire, you’ll still feel unhappy with life.
So instead, your focus for wanting to achieve success needs to be on wanting to make a difference to others.
And finding out how you can make the most difference to others.
The reason for this is you don’t find happiness by obtaining superficial and materialistic objects.
You find happiness through the relationships you build with others, which you do by…
Genuinely caring about people and wanting to make a difference to others.
Not for personal gain but for the sheer joy of doing it.
8) Don’t focus on making money solely
It goes without saying if your focus is on making a difference you’re focus isn’t so much on making money.
Here I’m not saying sacrifice making a difference above wanting to make money.
I’m not saying you can’t care about making money because we all need money to survive.
But wanting to make a difference needs to be at the forefront of making money.
Because I believe seeking to make a difference will attract the money you desire.
Therefore, increasing your happiness and success.
9. Create your own business
Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re not happy with your current situation.
So create your own business so you can have more control over your success and happiness.
I didn’t believe I wanted my own business.
I had no business idea, how could I?
But after seeing a Counselling Psychotherapist, I felt a lot happier and excited about life (something I didn’t expect it would give me).
And it was eventually that which gave me the desire to write this blog.
At first, I was reluctant to leave my job for fear of not knowing how to make it a success, of going it alone and of not receiving an income.
But I’m now realising I didn’t need to be so worried because none of what I thought would happen has happened.
And now I’m on the journey, I’m realising this is what you call true freedom regardless of how much money you’re making.
Since you’re doing what you want to do and are the one who gets to call the shots as you get to choose exactly how you want to:
- make a difference to others
- what to work on and not work on
- make money and how much
You’re not restricted by the limitations of what already exists outside of you, you get to create your own rules.
And you find a whole new community of people all on the same journey as you, who you can learn from, collaborate with and be inspired by.
10. Don’t expect failure but expect some failures along the way
Success without sacrificing your happiness isn’t going to be a smooth sailing journey.
And, you hear so many statistics on the failures of businesses that it’s easy for you to immediately expect you’re going to fail.
In the same way they did.
However, it’s important to not give up before you try everything you possibly can to make what you want to do a success.
Especially if you really believe and feel passionate about you’re idea.
And you’re not only doing it for the external rewards you believe it will bring you.
So whilst you can prepare for the possibility of failure, don’t expect to fail from the get go.
Just keep thinking about how you can progress what you’re doing forward not by working harder but smarter.
Since you don’t want to give up on your dreams before you even get going.
Seeing a Counselling Psychotherapist/Psychologist
Although, I’ve said embracing who you are is one of the main reasons to see a Counselling Psychotherapist/Psychologist you might feel you already have that covered.
But, a Counselling Psychotherapist/Psychologist can really help you to get clearer on any of the aspects I’ve discussed here.
So if you are struggling with anything, as mentioned earlier book an appointment with your GP at your local GP centre and ask for a list of therapy practices in your area.
So there you have it my 10 steps to success without sacrificing your happiness.
As I say, it will not be smooth sailing.
However, with the support of a Counselling Psychotherapist/Psychologist, you can figure out a way to make it work for you.