Are you wondering what happens when you run away from your problems? Whether you do really want to take action to run away from your problems, or you simply think, wish and feel like running away from your problems…
This article is for you as I’ll first go through why running away from your problems is a bad idea, what you’re communicating by running away from your problems and what to do instead of running away, before then moving onto the question of the day, which is what happens when you run away from your problems.
You wouldn’t be thinking about what happens when you run away from your problems if…
a) There wasn’t a part of you that wasn’t aware that running away from your problems, was your default mode of dealing with your problems (like it has been mine); and
b) There wasn’t a little bit of doubt in your mind that running away from your problems wasn’t the right solution to dealing with your problems.
Which is a positive sign, because this doubt is the exact reason why you’re on this page and are looking to understand what happens when you run away from your problems so you can find a solution to your struggle.
And you can answer the calling that this struggling is pulling you towards so you can grow your life and who you are as a person as I talk more about in my article A COMPLETE GUIDE ON WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO MAKE LIFE BETTER.
As a result, giving you the chance to live the best life you can possibly live.
Just like the one you’ve always dreamt of living.
So, let’s get started.
What happens when you run away from your problems?
You don’t have to be a fugitive (i.e. someone who’s in hiding from the authorities, as seen on the show the Hunted) to feel like you’re on the run.
You can simply feel like you’re on the run, simply by sitting on the couch and running away from your problems (physically, emotionally and mentally) over and over again.
What is the meaning of a fugitive?
I don’t know about you but just like on the Hunted when I think of a ‘fugitive’ I often think of someone who’s committed some kind of grandiose felony, like the likes of Pablo Escobar or something.
But, wanting to run away from your problems in your everyday life, is actually a lot more-subtler than that.
And one example I like to give and mention in my post 3 QUALITIES YOU NEED TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR PSYCHOTHERAPY SESSIONS is wanting to skip certain therapy sessions for one reason or another because your therapist is about to touch on a raw nerve that you don’t want to listen to because on a subconscious level, you know it’s true, such as, when you’re not taking on responsibility for undertaking a particular action in your life so you need your therapist to do it for you each time.
As a result, leading you to search for a new therapist to work with or new tools to implement into your life because you’re not satisfied with what your therapist has given you.
However, being a fugitive can also take place in your working life, your relationships with others (romantic and platonic), as well as, in other areas of your life.
Which is what I’ll look at in more detail next.
Times in your life you might have experienced feeling like a fugitive
1) Working life
In this day in age where the concept of a lifelong job/career is a thing of the past and the longest anyone has worked in their job is for 18 months…
And, so many people, particularly women (although not exclusive to women), experience what’s now known as ‘imposter syndrome’.
Which, if you’ve not yet come across the term, is this feeling of feeling like a fraud, like you’re going to be found out for not being ‘good enough’…
It’s easy to feel like you’re a fugitive.
Therefore, you move from job to job, career to career, organisation to organisation looking for something, which doesn’t seem to exist anywhere but you just don’t know what that ‘something’ is or where to find it.
And on the surface, it may look and feel like you’re going and are getting somewhere, but the reality is, you’re still in the same position you’ve been in for the last 5 years.
2) Relationships (romantic and/or platonic)
In your relationships, in particular, you might feel like a fugitive as you drop one relationship and friendship at a time for the next and the next because you experience situations in your relationships, which you don’t know how to handle over and over again.
Or you have expectations of how relationships are ‘supposed’ to be, that when they don’t fall in line with those expectations, you dismiss them.
Not realising these situations are arising in your life, for you to learn something new about yourself so you can change the pattern/outcome you’ve been repeating in your life for so long.
Therefore, becoming a better person for it.
As opposed to taking the easy way out by seeking to soothe the need/impulse in you to run away from your thoughts, feelings/sensations and beliefs (a.k.a avoid your problems), rather than understand them because it makes you feel alive.
The consequence of being a fugitive in your relationships
This is important because taking the easy way out of your relationships does nothing to keep people in your life.
Instead, it drives you away from people and people away from you. Therefore, leaving you feeling alone and isolated.
Since you’re never able to stay still in one place long enough to be able to settle down and build roots and a foundation because you’re always on the move.
And, therefore, you’ve got to keep starting from scratch, over and over again, therefore, tiring you out since you can never make it past ‘The Dip’ to be able to foster stronger connections with others.
In addition, you’re always in pursuit of something you don’t realise other people, places and experiences can’t give you.
Which is this ultimate feeling of self-worth, which you can learn more about here >>> HOW TO FIND YOUR WORTH AND WHY IT MATTERS.
Therefore, are always judging and criticising others for what they can’t give you but what you need to be able to give to yourself.
Other relationship AREAS
Relationships, however, are not only found within romantic and platonic relationships.
They are found within all walks of life, including money, material possessions, food and much more.
Except we don’t consider ourselves to have relationships with these things.
Therefore, rather than pausing to pay attention to our relationship with these things, we consume more and more of them.
As opposed to being satisfied with a certain amount of each and anything additional being a bonus.
Why running away is a bad idea? 3 reasons
Running away from your problems, as a result, is a bad idea because of this feeling of feeling like a fugitive, and the thoughts, feelings and behaviours, which it evokes within you.
But also because of who it makes (or doesn’t make) you as a person.
Which in all cases isn’t somebody who you want to be.
For instance, it makes you…
1) A victim/slave (aka addicted) to the emotions and thoughts of fear
The more you make the decision to run away from your problems, the more your body will be conditioned (i.e. the more your body will learn) that it’s acceptable to run away from your problems when it perceives something outside of itself as a threat to its survival.
Therefore, no longer will you have a choice as to what action to take in the moment when you’re facing a problem, but you will automatically make the decision and take the action to run away from your problems since it becomes part of your automatic, nervous system, subconscious programming.
Which neuroscientist Dr Joe Dispenza talks more about in more detail in his book ‘Breaking the habit of being yourself ‘.
As a result, making running away from your problems, your normal mode of being.
2) Feelings of self-pity
Self-pity is the act of feeling sorry for yourself and removing all responsibility off of yourself onto others for why your life is the way that is it.
As though they are to blame for why you make the decisions you make and decide to take the actions you decide to take.
When those decisions all took place in your very own mind, through your thoughts and by-product, feelings, which you can work to change by working with a Counselling Psychotherapist as I talk about in my post HOW PSYCHOTHERAPY CAN HELP YOU TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER.
But which, you don’t believe you can change within yourself or understand how changing how you think and feel would be beneficial to you in your life since you perhaps haven’t experienced it before.
LEARN MORE: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE BY CHANGING THIS ONE BELIEF
3) You get trapped in with no way out
Like a prison with bars, when your body and mind have been conditioned to run away from problems (because the action has been repeated over and over again), your mind begins to feel like a prison all on its own.
Therefore, locking you into only one way of seeing, thinking, feeling and believing about yourself, your life and others in relation to you.
As a result, restricting you from living the life you were truly meant to live because you can’t see any other path or trajectory to the one you are on.
So you become limited (instead of limitless like the ‘being’ you truly are at your core).
What happens when you run away from your problems?
What are you really communicating when you run away from your problems?
When you automatically take an action, all you see is the action you take and nothing before it, such as your thoughts and feelings. So to help you to stop running away from your problems let’s now look at what’s behind your actions.
1) Fear of getting hurt
Now there’s nothing wrong with being scared of getting hurt since we all experience it.
But what does make your life difficult, is not acknowledging and admitting to yourself that you’re scared of getting hurt by a particular situation before you because you’re afraid of what that might mean about you.
That is, that you’re weak or less than were you to admit to yourself (and potentially them/others) how you really felt.
Why DOES denying you’re scared make your life more difficult than neccessary?
Denying you’re scared of getting hurt by a situation before you, makes your life more difficult than it necessarily has to be because like a boxing match where the boxers simply move around the ring not really throwing any punches, you skirt around the real struggle you’re struggling with.
Which is, that the reason you’re scared to admit you might get hurt by a problem you’re facing is your experiences when you were growing up, which likely involved being judged, criticised and/or shouted at harshly for having certain feelings.
So now you’ve learnt to do the exact same to yourself, that is, judge and criticise yourself knowingly or unknowingly, for having those exact same feelings, believing that they mean there is something wrong with you for having them.
Which, therefore, does nothing to help you in addressing the real struggle at hand and taking action towards resolving it.
2) You don’t trust yourself
In particular, what you’re communicating to yourself and others on a subconscious level is that you don’t believe in your very own capability in handling a certain situation before you mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually.
Therefore, others too can’t trust you to be there for them when the going gets tough.
3) You think and believe that you have no other means of dealing with a situation before you other than to run away from it
There are a myriad of ways of choosing to deal with a challenging situation before us.
However, often we lock ourselves into the only ways we know/learnt how to deal with challenging situations as we were growing up.
Therefore, going back to what I mentioned earlier about trapping ourselves in mentally to see things from one perspective (our own).
But the way we learnt to deal with relationships and work challenges growing up, may not be appropriate for us today as adults. Therefore, requiring us to upgrade our internal systems.
In other words, we need to upgrade our minds, which like computers, run on an automatic programme until we make the conscious decision to analyse the system we’re running on in-depth from the inside out.
That is, the thoughts, feelings and beliefs, which are limiting our potential to live a life we really really love, not just think is within our means.
4) You don’t believe your current life and who you are as a human being are ‘good enough’
It doesn’t matter whether you simply say, think, feel and believe you want to run away from your problems or you actually take action to do it.
Both indicate the same thing and that is you don’t believe you and your life are good enough as they are.
So, you need to change them by adding more and more into your life.
Which means if you think you’re not good enough and need changing, then it’s unlikely that you don’t think others need changing too because they’re not good enough to you either.
As a result, leaving you struggling to accept yourself and others as they are, which does nothing but exhaust you day in day out as you always seek to fight against what is and isn’t in your life.
As opposed to going with the flow of life, which is meant to bring more ease and peace into your life overall.
LEARN MORE: HOW TO CHANGE MYSELF?
How working with a Counselling Psychotherapist will support you to overcome what happens when you run away from your problems?
Feeling like a fugitive, therefore, is also WHY working with a Counselling Psychotherapist is so beneficial because they can teach you how to stay with your problems, the exact opposite of running away from them and therefore, the antidote to the beliefs you’re currently living with.
But of course, this will also require work (in and out of sessions like going to school) on your behalf over a long period of time (up to 5 years) to get there and be able to see results in your life, especially since it’s not a straight line to getting there.
Teaching you how to stay
A Counselling Psychotherapist, therefore, teaches you how to stay first and foremost by connecting with you on an emotional level by showing you they understand your struggle and why it’s so difficult as they seek to put what you’re thinking, feeling and believing into the context of societal norms.
Therefore, giving you the relief and reassurance that ‘there’s nothing wrong with you’ like you first thought there was and that you’re not alone in your struggle.
There is someone out there who understands it and can support you through it week in week out.
More still, they’ll give you recommendations and tools like these >>> 4 MIND-BLOWING TOOLS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR WORLD AND HELP YOU TO OVERCOME PAST REGRETS, which will help you to realise there is another way to deal with your struggles as opposed to running away from them.
And alongside these tools >>> 3 TOOLS TO GROW OUTSIDE THERAPY SESSIONS you’ll be a force to be reckoned with.
What happens when you run away from your problems? FAQ’s
So now we’ve looked into the background of running away from your problems, let’s get into some common questions.
Can you run away from your life?
In short, no you can’t run away from your life and not simply because of the logistics, like money, food, water, safety, shelter etc. needed to be able to run away from your life but because you can’t escape yourself since you’ll always have that inner chatter coming through wherever you go and whatever you decide to do.
So sooner or later the same thoughts, feelings and beliefs (a.k.a problems) will arise again just in relation to different people, places and experiences.
Which isn’t a bad thing, if you can learn how to harness them by working with a Counselling Psychotherapist so instead of running from yourself and your life, you surrender to them and run towards them instead.
I mean doesn’t that sound easier than running away does?
Summary: What happens when you run away from your problems?
So there you have it. Your answer to what happens when you run away from your problems.
You feel and act like a fugitive.
Since you’re always seeking to run away from yourself (i.e. your thoughts, feelings and beliefs) and therefore, your life.
But, you can’t really escape yourself and your life because the same thoughts, feelings and beliefs, you originally started with, will crop up again.
Therefore, you’ll unknowingly turn into someone who you don’t want to be and never thought you’d be without any payoff to it.
So your best bet is to only work with a Counselling Psychotherapist so they can teach you how to stay, which incidentally is the antidote to running away from your problems.
Now over to you
In the comment section below, I’d love to hear how you’ve noticed yourself running away from your problems?
And don’t forget to subscribe to my email newsletter below to stay in the know on how working with a Counselling Psychotherapist can change your life.
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