I unknowingly stumbled on what it takes to renovate your life through deciding to see a Psychotherapist.
It is, thus, this I’ll be focusing on in today’s blog post.
Are you forever ruminating on positive and negative memories? On all the things you could have said or wanted to say but didn’t, what someone else said, why a particular event turned out the way it did or how it or somebody made you feel?
Do you ever get frustrated at yourself for not being able to create certain results in your life that you see others creating for themselves, whether it be a relationship, wealth, success etc?
What about when you look at people on social media, how frequently do you make judgements about their lives in comparison to yours and then feel awful about yourself?
Consider yourself an overthinker?
Oh yes, I am all too familiar with all the scenarios above and used to brush them off as being insignificant until I knew better.
Until seeing a Psychotherapist opened my eyes to how the thoughts (and feelings associated with this type of thinking), were tormenting me like the plague over and over again and were impacting my ability to create the results I wanted to create.
And in being shown this, I was able to see how Psychotherapy supports you in renovating your life.
1. An objective and differing perspective
I cannot overestimate the importance of an objective and differing perspective in renovating your life.
And let me tell you, a Psychotherapists perspective is not just any other person’s perspective.
No it is not.
As I mention in my blog post, From therapy to the excitement of life transformation, it is a perspective founded on years of scientific evidence and research and incorporates neuroscience, spirituality, sociological and psychological perspectives, if not more.
This is crucial in renovating your life because, consider this…
If ‘the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results‘ and as Gandhi says, ‘your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values [and] your values become your destiny’
This would then mean if you want to renovate your life, you need to change what’s at the root of your actions, which is your beliefs and thoughts, which you can only gain access to by exploring what situations, thoughts and feelings are arising in your present-day reality, week by week in a Psychotherapy setting.
Also, we may have memories in our childhood, which we haven’t processed properly due to our lack of ability to make sense of events at the time, which means we cannot move forward in our lives until we process them.
However, by turning up to Psychotherapy sessions, week by week for more than a year, we can gain access to the memories we’ve not processed properly as our subconscious mind will bring forth to us, in a progressive manner, that which we need to work on within ourselves.
It is important to note here, these memories may be emotionally charged, which is why you need the support of a Psychotherapist, as they can provide you with the sense of safety needed for you to be able to process the emotions arising within you safely.
2) Acceptance
Once your thoughts are put into context through the objective and differing perspective your Psychotherapist gives you, you will begin to feel acceptance for yourself, others, your past and the events taking place in your life.
Therefore, finding peace and tranquillity.
I appreciate this may sound like staying stagnant and not finding ways to renovate your life.
However, renovating your life, I have realised as a result of Psychotherapy, doesn’t come from an internal struggle of wanting and wishing your life was different to the way it is in this moment.
The renovation of your life instead comes from surrendering to your thoughts and feelings instead of fighting with them, becoming aware of how your thoughts, feelings and actions are impacting your life; listening to your intuition in the present moment; accepting, understanding and feeling at peace with who you are, the decisions you have made in your life up until this moment in time, and how your life is in this present moment.
And only through this awareness and understanding is it possible for you to see what it is you need to change in yourself and thus renovate your life.
3. Independence of thought
Along with gaining acceptance from the objective and differing perspective your Psychotherapist provides, it also assists you in gaining independence of thought from the familiar ideas, opinions and perspectives of those around you.
Therefore, further supporting you in renovating your life.
Whilst this, of course, is achieved through your weekly discussions with your Psychotherapist, it is also achieved in two different ways.
Firstly, through utilising the exciting tools and practices I discuss in my blog post 3 powerful tools and practices that transformed my life, as they help you to create a mental distance between you and the opinions, ideas and perspectives of those around you.
Therefore, allowing you to consciously choose and make different decisions to those around you, so you can create your own recipe for success, happiness and fulfilment in life, rather than going with the consensus.
Secondly, Psychotherapy supports you in recognising where your responsibility lies and teaches you how to set firm boundaries with others when those lines are crossed.
As a result, supporting you to feel confident and secure in expressing your individual and unique wants, needs and desires with others.
Warnings
Now, I have to worn you.
If you do take up the challenge to see a Psychotherapist for more than a year, you will see changes in your relationships, financial abundance and happiness.
Relationships
You will see changes in your relationships as some of the friendships you have, may wither away as you (and they) realise their values, ethics and morals, no longer align with yours.
However, this is great news as it will allow you to connect with people who do align with who you are in this present moment, not the person you were.
Related post: From therapy to the excitement of life transformation
Financial abundance and happiness
Your financial abundance and happiness will increase too as you start making decisions based on what excites you, rather than what you think will make you an interesting person or will get other people to like you.
You stop looking for things outside of you to be happy and instead are happy for no reason at all.
For instance, until recently, I sought a variety of events (sometimes paid, sometimes not) ‘thinking’ they would facilitate my personal development, learning, health, well-being and happiness.
However, they didn’t facilitate them in the same way Psychotherapy did, and they sure as hell didn’t make me any happier.
Psychotherapy, therefore, supported me through this as I was questioned on why I wanted to do something when I expressed to my therapist something I wanted to do, which gave me the indication I needed to started questioning this for myself too.
If the answer was to get something in return, such as, alleviate my boredom or because it was recommended by others, I took this as a sign it wasn’t something I truly wanted to do but something I believed I needed to do and realised I need to go with what I wanted, not what others were telling me to do.
If the answer, on the other hand, got me feeling excited then it was a cue to engage with it.
To also compliment this, I was drawn to a book called The Soul of Money, written by Lynne Twist, which further got me thinking about how I could use my money as an extension of myself, as a way to demonstrate what I valued in life, with therapy being a sign of valuing mental health and well-being and something I needed to ensure I continued pursuing.
Therefore, stopping me from spending money on items and experiences I ‘thought’ would make me happy and instead, spending money on items which did bring me joy.
Summary
In short, the answer to how to renovate your life is to get an objective and differing perspective from a Psychotherapist.
In gaining this, you develop an acceptance of who you are and independence from the familiar thoughts, opinions, beliefs and ideas of those around you.
Overall, resulting in changes to your relationships, financial abundance and happiness as you seek experiences, people and places, which align with your new self.
Thanks for reading my post and now I want to turn it over to you.
In the comments section below, I would love to know what changes you’re currently looking to make in your life and what’s stopping from making these changes?
It’s a shame there is such a stigma in seeing a therapist because the effects on mental health are innumerable! I majored in psychology and the first thing family members would say whenever I told them my major is “oh are you psychoanalyzing me now??” It really grew irritating that they weren’t taking this seriously. Therapy is so important to encourage discussion and a healthy mindset and I feel like everyone would benefit from it
I know it really is a shame since as you say there are so many people who could benefit from it. I can only hope my small blog currently, will one day be able to play even a small part in getting people to reconsider seeing a Psychotherapist.
I used to never pay attention to my thoughts. I mean, I never thought my thoughts had the power to dictate my entire life and how I see the world. I’ve never seen a psychotherapist but I think the majority of people would greatly benefit from seeing one.
Thanks for your comment. No, it’s not the first place anyone thinks to look when they want to create any kind of meaningful change in any aspect of their lives but it really is the first and only place anyone needs to look because all the answers are there. This is why seeing a Psychotherapist is so great as they can support us in awakening to those answers. I would say start with looking at what it is you find yourself complaining or moaning about the most (no matter how big or small you think the complaint is) and then make the decision to see a Psychotherapist to explore these complaints in-depth because you might find those complaints are linked to something you never considered before.
I was similar to you a few years back. I took some counselling to help my personal life which had gonr really badly with a toxic relationship. She made me realise after a while that I was needing recognition and an opportunity to talk about my childhood, and deep eated anxieties that stretched way into the past. She enabled me to open a door and gain a new life. Your therapist did the same for you. These people are gold
Thanks so much for your comment Pip and it’s so lovely to hear your own success story with a counsellor. They are indeed gold.