With a change in perspective, anything you want to achieve in life becomes possible, including your ability to make life better no matter where you started in life.
So it’s that, which I want to talk about in more detail in this post.
If there’s one piece of advice I would give you on what to change in your life to be happier, it would be this; to work towards having a perspective change on the people and situations in your life (past and present), which have brought you and do bring you unhappiness.
Since a perspective shift on these two aspects in my life is what gave me the freedom to realize I could choose how I wanted to be in the world, as opposed to going with how others wanted me to be.
Therefore, supporting me to make life better.
And I believe, it can do the same for you.
So, in this post, I’m going through:
– What is a shift in perspective
– What your beliefs and emotions have to do with it
– And, how a therapist will support you to get the change in perspective you need to be able change your life for the better so you can life live freely.
So, let’s dive in.
What is a shift in perspective?
A shift in perspective allows you to see the same situation before you and/or the same people who’ve been in your life for years and years like family members and friends, from different angles to the ones you currently view them from.
How to view a shift in perspective?
A good way to view a shift in perspective in my opinion is to consider the possibility there are always multiple:
- Positive ways to look at the situations and people involved in those situations, which have taken place in your life (and are taking place in your life); and
- Negative ways to look at the situations and people involved in those situations, which have taken place in your life (and are taking place in your life).
So there isn’t only one linear way of viewing a situation or a person. Instead, the situations and people in your life are more like a box from which you can rotate so you can see them from the top, bottom, left, and right.
Example of a perspective shift
One example of a perspective shift is you apply for what you believe is your dream job and company to work for, but you don’t get the job.
So you think there must be something about you, which is unworthy or that this always happens to you and you leave it at that. Therefore, feeling down about yourself over days and months.
Whereas a shift in perspective would have you go a step further and say, maybe there’s a reason I didn’t get that job and there’s a better job out there waiting for me, or maybe you didn’t prepare as well as you thought you had done and you’ll do better next time.
The best free training I’ve actually seen, which helps to put this into even more context is here. You’ll need to subscribe to the email newsletter to get the free training, however, let me tell you, it’s worth it.
Is there a right or wrong way to perceive a situation or person?
Whilst there is no right or wrong way to perceive a situation (past and present) or a person in our lives, the way we do perceive a situation or a particular person does have the power to either bring us and them down or to lift us and them up to even greater heights than before.
Therefore, allowing us to move forward with our lives, instead of constantly rehashing our past hurts and wounds in our heads over and over again.
As a result, keeping us stuck and down, feeling like there’s no way forward because of what’s been and gone.
The perspective we see from
As Anais Nin’s quote above suggests, often the perspective we look at others and the situations in our lives from is from the perspective of how we see ourselves.
Therefore, if you’re constantly viewing your situation and the people in your life from a predominantly negative perspective, it’s most likely because you predominantly view yourself from a negative perspective too so have a critical inner voice.
How to change perspective on what you see
As a result, it is your responsibility to take on responsibility for what you’re thinking, feeling, and believing about others (family and otherwise) in order to be able to turn those thoughts, feelings, and beliefs towards yourself.
So you can see how those thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about others, are really about you and what you think, feel, and believe about yourself. Therefore, is what is truly stopping you from living your best life and finding a way to make life better.
And therefore, requires you to work towards changing.
What you’re not doing when you’re looking to get a perspective change
What you’re NOT doing, therefore, when you’re looking to have a change in perspective is change anything on the outside of you (i.e. people, places, and experiences), in order to feel better about yourself and your situation on the inside of you.
Instead, what you’re simply trying to do is look for how you can change the angle of the observations and interpretations you are placing on your outside environment (i.e. people, places, and experiences) from the inside, starting with your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
When a change in perspective seems useless
As you read this, a part of you might believe there’s no point in getting a change in perspective because it isn’t really going to change you or your life.
So to help you out on why you think that, so you can override those thoughts since they aren’t serving you in the slightest in getting a change in perspective and therefore, becoming free, here are two reasons…
- The precise beliefs you’re thinking
- Your emotions
How the precise beliefs you’re thinking are stopping you from getting a change in perspective?
Your beliefs, just like your thoughts, tell you lies.
So in terms of having a change in perspective, along with believing there’s no point in getting a change in perspective because it isn’t going to change you or your life, you also don’t believe there is another way to view the situations or people in your life from, other than the way you are and have always seen them.
Therefore, believing the way you’re viewing the people and situations in your life is the absolute truth and the right way of viewing them.
Subjective vs Objective truth
The truth is, however, there is no objective truth to anything in life. Everything is subjective and dependent on the person who is doing the viewing.
Therefore, meaning any interpretation can be placed on a situation and person presenting themselves before you.
But it’s up to you the chooser and decider to place an interpretation on the events, which are and have taken place in your life, which uplifts you and the people around you, rather than brings you and the people around you down.
How your emotions stop you from getting a change in perspective?
As human beings, our emotions direct our lives. The challenge, however, comes when we learn not how to read our emotions but in getting stuck in our emotions.
The difference between getting stuck and reading your emotions to be able to have a change in perspective?
When you get stuck in your emotions, you are unable to think clearly enough to be able to come up with different perspectives and effective solutions to those emotions, since they overpower you.
So instead, you get stuck in moaning and complaining about a person or situation in your life (focusing on the negative), which does nothing to make your life better in the long-term, other than make you feel better at that moment in time.
But, when you know how to read your emotions, you acknowledge your emotions can support you in changing your perspective and finding the solution to the challenges you are facing within your life.
Therefore, are to be felt and listened to, for you to be able to know what action it is you need to take towards a particular situation and/or person in your life.
Example of reading your emotions vs getting stuck in your emotions
An example of reading your emotions vs getting stuck in your emotions is when someone makes you angry and they’ve done something to hurt your thoughts and feelings, instead of you immediately blowing up at them for what they’ve done (getting stuck in your emotions), you stop, pause and reflect on what’s beneath the anger.
For instance, by asking yourself what your anger is about as it arises, which helps to clue you into whether your anger is really about this other person’s words and actions, or whether your anger is really about your interpretation of what this person has said and done as meaning something about you as a person (i.e. you’re not good enough).
In addition, it gives you the chance to change your perception of what the other person might be thinking and feelings towards the same situation.
And depending on the answers, deciding whether it’s appropriate to communicate this to the person who you believe has hurt your thoughts and feelings and how you communicate it, or not.
Moving from getting stuck to reading your emotions to get a change in perspective
If you resonate with getting stuck in your emotions, as I did, don’t worry because learning to read your emotions is a skill, which you absolutely can learn with practice, patience and perseverance, and which, I’m going to show you how shortly.
And in learning how to read your emotions, you’ll also change your beliefs on getting a change in perspective so you can work to change your life for the better. Although, this will take a year or more for you to be able to fully recognize.
Why it pays to learn how to read your emotions and change your beliefs to get a change in perpective
You may have heard, your beliefs direct everything and if you haven’t heard that, then you really ought to know your beliefs direct everything.
And as the quote above suggests, it’s your beliefs, which dictate who you are and the results you are getting within your life. Not the childhood or upbringing you had, not the educational background you’re from, not your gender, age, or anything else.
Where to go to change your belief on getting a change in perspective and learn how to read your emotions
Working with a therapist is the solution to changing your beliefs on getting a change in perspective and in learning how to read your emotions since everything I have discussed is really a new way of feeling, thinking, and believing.
Therefore, requires getting used to so will usually take up to 5 years for you to be able to implement your learnings into your daily life, as a result, eventually becoming automatic habits you revert to so you don’t get stuck in negative thinking for too long.
How will you learn to read your emotions to be able to have a perspective change with a therapist?
Changing the way you relate and engage with your emotions
At the minute, if you’re emotions are overpowering you so much so you’re getting stuck in your emotions, therefore, are struggling to see how else you can view the situations and people in your life or how doing so will support you to change you and your life over the long run, it’s likely because you are running away from your emotions and feelings, which means you aren’t standing or sitting still enough to feel the emotions as they arise within your body.
As a result, are identifying with the first thoughts, which come to your mind regarding a situation and/or person so are not necessarily true.
How you’ll learn to relate and engage with your emotions to be able to have a change in perspective?
A therapist, as a result, will firstly support you by getting you to change the way you relate to your emotions so you can learn how to better listen and manage them in order to be able to change your point of view on the people and situation in your life.
And secondly, they will support you in understanding your thoughts and emotions towards the people and situations you are facing, therefore, enabling you to be able to have a change in perspective.
However, what makes both of these combined so effective is that you’re learning them in an environment in which you feel safe, calm, and collected so are more open to learning.
Why is changing your perspective the key to freedom?
When you work to have a change in perspective, whilst also working to change how you relate to your emotions, you no longer become limited in your view of people and situations (past and present), which have taken place and are taking place in your life.
Therefore, realizing you don’t need to be locked in by your negative perceptions of others and the situations in your life as there are multiple positive ways you can choose to view the people and situations within your life instead.
And over time (as a bonus), you’ll also get to reap the following positive side effects…
The chance to distance yourself from negative thoughts and feelings
This includes your own negative thoughts and feelings, the negative thoughts and feelings of the people around you, and the information you are consuming so you can learn to adopt a more positive inner voice and mindset.
As a result, better equipping you to separate your thoughts and feelings from those of others, in order to become the person you want to be.
You become more objective and stop taking things personally
When stuck in a certain way of thinking towards a particular person or situation, your therapist will support you in seeing the other side.
Therefore, supporting you in developing empathy for the challenging person and situation you are experiencing so you can start to realize your perception of a situation and person isn’t personal.
As a result, your job isn’t to try and change others, but rather to only change your reactions in order to feel better about yourself and your life.
Being grateful for who you are, what you do, and what you do have in your life, can initially be a challenging practice to keep up when you first begin implementing a gratitude journal.
However, the more you put it into practice with the tools I discuss in my post 3 tools to grow outside therapy sessions and the 4 mind-blowing tools to overcome past regrets (alongside the talking therapy) practising gratitude will become easier as they will spur you to make new life choices you are proud of and thankful for.
And to explore passions and interests you hadn’t considered before, as I talk about in my post How do I find my passion and motivation.
You reclaim your power
With new life choices, also, you will also begin to reclaim your power.
Realizing your struggles are not yours alone
A therapist’s job is really to support you in feeling better in the long-term, and one way to do that is by supporting you in realising that everybody experiences the same struggles.
Therefore, supporting you in becoming adept at remembering others experience the same struggles you do so when a challenge does arise in your life you don’t feel so alone and life ‘there’s something wrong with you.’
Your focus changes
As you learn new information through your discussions with your therapist, your focus on what matters, including the kind of person you want to be and what does not matter in your life will change.
You’ll want to make more of a difference to others
If you’re working with a therapist to change your life for the better, you likely already seek to make a difference to others in some way. However, as you go through the process, sticking with it for up to 5 years, you’ll begin to want to make even more of a difference to others.
What you’re experiencing is temporary
As your therapist reminds you of this fact, you too will become accustomed to reminding yourself of this overtime too.
Summary of what it really means to get a change in perspective
So there you have it why a change in perspective is your key to freedom (and how to get it).
Firstly, it means you get to choose whether you want to have a negative perception of the people and situations in your life in order to bring yourself and others down, OR a positive perception of the people and situations in your life to be able to lift yourself and others up.
In addition, it means getting a better handle of your emotions so they don’t stop you from getting a change in perspective and help you to see clearly enough to other thoughts and feelings to arise.
All of which, you will get support with by choosing to work with a therapist for up to a period of 5 years.
Now over to you, in the comments section below, let me know what you think about working with a therapist to get a change in perspective.
And don’t forget to subscribe to my email newsletter to ensure you stay in the know about how working with a therapist will support you to develop personally and professionally.
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