‘I don’t understand life’. When was the last time you uttered those exact words to yourself and/or others in frustration? If it was within the last year or so, then this post is for you as I go through how to learn life when you don’t feel confident or have anyone in your immediate environment who you can turn to for advice, guidance and direction, around having successful loving and fulfilling relationships, friendships, careers etc.
A lack of understanding leads to incompetence.
And let that sink in because in seeking to understand how to learn life and taking steps towards learning life, you can work to become more competent at life.
And, as a result, increasing your confidence in your ability to create a life you love.
Therefore, why I’m delving more into how to learn life in today’s post.
So, let’s get started.
How to learn life?
Know what to learn about life
To learn what you specifically need to learn about life you first have to understand what life is?
Since there are generic things people can tell you you need to learn about life, but the key here is to understand WHY you need to learn them and eventually how to apply them into your own life.
Because what each and every individual person needs to learn about life is unique and specific to them, depending on where they started in life (i.e. their childhood experiences).
And in understanding what life is, you will also feel more motivated and inspired to learn what you specifically need to learn about life.
So, what is life?
What is life?
A spiritual endeavour
Don’t tut or turn your nose at this. Yeah I see you. Don’t think I don’t 😊
Because life is exactly this; a spiritual endeavour, whether you believe it or not.
And whether you believe in a God or not.
However, since there’s no life school.
And a lot of people have become disillusioned with the notion of religion with the many abuse’s, and spiritual abuse’s alike, which have been committed in the public eye over the course of their lives.
We’ve lost the meaning of life, as this.
If that is, we ever really knew the true meaning of what it means to look at life as a spiritual endeavour and how to treat it as such.
So what is a spiritual endeavour?
What is a spiritual endeavour?
When I talk about life as a spiritual endeavour, what I’m really referring to is life as a spiritual learning ground.
Or as some might say a spiritual awakening ground to who you really are at your core and what life is at its core.
But not necessarily one that involves learning about others and the lives of others, although that’s part of it as we seek to learn about ourselves and our lives.
But rather more so about learning about ourselves and our lives in the context of and in relation to others.
Otherwise, we would have nothing and no one to compare to in order to improve ourselves and our lives so we can become the best version of ourselves that there is.
What it means for you to treat life as a spiritual learning ground?
What this means for you, therefore, is realising that God doesn’t live and exist outside of you, somewhere up above in heaven.
And only when you pass away will we see him.
Rather God (also known as the universe, a higher power, light, love, eternal energy etc.) is present within you each and every minute of the day, as you go about living your life.
And it’s from that inner knowing, that God lives within us, where our very own personal power and strength derives from.
And therefore, without it, makes living life much more difficult.
However, it’s not enough to simply know it.
We also need to be able to feel it. Feel that God lives within us and not somewhere outside of us.
LEARN MORE: 3 TOOLS TO GROW OUTSIDE THERAPY SESSIONS
Example of treating life as a spiritual learning ground: Groundhog Day
Remember the film Groundhog Day with Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell (one of my favourite films btw)?
Where Bill Murray replay’s the same day over and over again until he learns the lessons he’s supposed to learn in order to become a better more loving, kind and caring person?
And only then can he move forward with his life.
Notice any similarities with your own life in the sense that you too might feel like you’re running the same day over and over again with it feeling like perhaps it’s never ending?
With it being one thing, after another, after another?
It might be a different situation, person, place, or experience but the situation itself has the same undertone as the one you’ve experienced before?
Well, that’s exactly because that movie was based on what the purpose of life is.
Which involves each and every individual on the planet learning very specific lessons about themselves and their lives, including what’s not so great about themselves and their lives.
In order for them to be able to move their life forward and become the best version of themselves there is.
A hard lesson to learn
Accepting life as a spiritual endeavour isn’t easy to say the least.
It takes guts, it takes determination, it takes patience with yourself and others and most of all, it takes a willingness to accept that you don’t know everything there is to know about yourself and your life, no matter how much you ‘think’ or ‘feel’ you might do.
Therefore, being open to obtaining a change in perspective on how you’re seeing yourself and your life, and thus, how this is contributing to the life you’re leading today.
Because if you don’t have the life that you want, you’re clearly missing something or failing to see something about yourself and your life.
In addition, although it does have its difficulties, it does have its merits too.
Especially, when you finally do learn the lessons you were brought here to learn and you make a breakthrough on something you’ve always wanted for yourself and your life.
Therefore, bringing your life to a new height, which you never imagined was possible for you before.
What makes you unique as a person?
The spiritual lessons, in addition, we each individually need to learn about our own lives, on our own personal journey’s, is what makes us unique as people, which is a human need we all have; to be different and unique to the next person.
As a result, if we were all on the same life path imagine how boring that would be since we’d have no one to inspire us to move our lives forward and no one who’d gone before us to show us the way.
Yes looking around to see others accomplishing what we want to accomplish when we haven’t yet accomplished it, is difficult. However, it’s necessary for pushing us forward towards our own goals and dreams in life.
The funny thing is, ultimately, we’re all on the same life journey, which is working towards creating a better future for ourselves and others.
However, the way we each get to that goal is different so it’s up to each of us to find our own way there.
So it’s that, you’re in search of too when looking to treat life like a spiritual endeavour.
And it’s that which makes up your purpose and mission in life.
What happens when you start treating life as a spiritual endeavour?
What’s great and exciting about treating life as a spiritual endeavour is that once you get used to seeing and treating life in this way, you no longer go against the grain of what life is and fight with it.
And instead, you fall into alignment with it, accepting it as it is.
Therefore, going with the flow of life, instead of against it.
How to learn life?
What you need to be able to treat life as a spiritual endeavour?
So, if you’re going to start treating life like a spiritual endeavour and a spiritual learning ground/awakening to be able to learn about life (specifically yours), you’re going to need a few materials.
Starting with this one…
1) A regular reflection practice
What this means for you is you need to implement and practice the tools I talk about in my posts here >>> 3 TOOLS TO GROW OUTSIDE THERAPY SESSIONS and here >>> 4 MIND-BLOWING TOOLS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR WORLD AND HELP YOU TO OVERCOME PAST REGRETS.
And yes, I’m sorry but that does include having a regular non-negotiable meditation practice, which lasts longer than 10 or 20 minutes (more likely working towards an hour).
Yes, it’s hard, I’m not going to sugar coat that for you.
And to begin with you might need to start with what you can do, which might be 10 or 20 minutes.
However, you have to try to start working your way towards that one-hour meditation goal mark believing that with time, patience, dedication, intention and practice, you will master it.
And if there is something, which gets in the way of you being able to do this, finding a way to let it go so you can make it a priority in your life.
An understanding of Newton’s third law of motion everything has an equal and opposite reaction
No, I’m not asking you to understand anything about Physics here.
But as part of your reflection practice, which includes mindfulness, it’s important you realise that it’s possible a “negative” reaction you’re encountering from another person and situation, is really a reflection of an earlier action or reaction you decided to take.
And so it’s important you reflect on the situations you’re facing and make a note of them so you can draw the links between your behaviour and reactions and those of others in your life (or now not in your life).
As it’s only through doing this you’ll be able to learn the lessons of where you are going wrong in your life (i.e. the habitual reactions and behaviours, which aren’t supporting you to lead a happy life) and what you can do in future to course correct them.
Therefore, also stopping you from taking things so personally because you’re taking on responsibility for what actions, behaviours and reactions are yours and so are within your control to change.
Sure you can’t change or control the behaviours and reactions of others, but that doesn’t matter because all that matters is that you work to control your own behaviour and reactions, and in doing so, you inadvertently begin to affect change in the behaviours and reactions of others too (to an extent).
How you apply the lesson to your life?
Once you have the learning of how your actions and reactions are causing certain situations in your life to take place, then you can treat them as notes to yourself (i.e a list of do’s and don’t for you to do or not do) in future.
Therefore, improving your relationships and your life remarkably.
Is this easy? No.
Because our habits, thoughts, feelings and beliefs are ingrained into our mind, bodies and soul’s, so in our desire to change these, we will face resistance and so it will feel like we’re moving two steps forward and two steps backwards.
But it’s possible with intention.
LEARN MORE: HOW TO CHANGE MYSELF?
The benefits of Newtons Law?
The benefits of this is life becomes more like a fun game.
Of course, it doesn’t always feel like this when we’re in it.
In fact, it feels hard.
But as I said earlier, it’s once you overcome the lesson and look back in hindsight, that you’re able to feel a sense of relief and gratitude towards the lesson you’ve learnt.
Therefore, making life a lot more rewarding and worth living.
2) Working with a Counselling Psychotherapist trained in Emotional Freedom Techniques and Matrix Reimprinting
Something else you’ll need, is to work with a Counselling Psychotherapist trained in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Matrix Reimprinting.
Why work with a Counselling Psychotherapist trained in Emotional Freedom Techniques and Matrix Reimprinting?
The reason for this is similar to the TV show Sabrina the Teenage Witch (if you remember it), in that, you will need someone in your life (like Sabrina’s aunts, aunt Zelda and aunt Hinda) who can provide you with a non-judgemental, non-critical, compassionate ear so you can confide in them about:
- Anything and everything you’re experiencing in your day to day life; and
- The realisations you are having about yourself and your life as you engage in the reflective practices I mentioned above and reflect on the conversations you are having with them.
Since you are going to be facing some really tough truths about yourself and your life, which will be difficult for you to be able to handle at first, but in the end, the more you face them will be worth it.
Although of course, since your Counselling Psychotherapist isn’t family, it will take time for you to build a certain level of familiarity and trust with your therapist before you can feel completely comfortable sharing everything and anything with them.
How to learn life?
Understand what’s going to be in your way to learning life as a spiritual endeavour
Lastly, to also treat life as a spiritual endeavour, you’ve got to be aware of what’s going to be (or is) standing in your way to treating it as such, so you can be prepared for this.
And in knowing this, knowing that the challenge you’re going to be facing is normal and natural and a part of the course, so isn’t something for you to be worried about.
Let me ask you how do you feel about learning generally speaking? What springs to mind when you hear the word learning on its own?
Me, I sigh and I think boring, I can’t be bothered with that and I feel lazy.
Why? because often we associate learning with school, which we’ve considered boring.
So when it comes to learning life we’ve associated that same kind of thinking to it, not realising that learning about life is difficult at times, but actually more fun than what we’re taught at school because we can directly relate the lessons we’re learning to ourselves and our lives.
We don’t need to compete with a classroom of 30 other people. Instead we get the special attention we and our lives deserve.
And we’re guaranteed to use the information we’re learning now, in years to come.
Summary: How to learn life now you’re a “fully-fledged adult”?
So there you have it…the answer to your question on how to learn life?
Firstly, acknowledge what life is (i.e. a spiritual endeavour and a learning ground for awakening yourself to the true nature and beauty of who you are and what life is at its core).
And then taking steps to begin treating life like a spiritual endeavour through incorporating a regular reflective practice, working with a Counselling Psychotherapist and acknowledging what’s going to be standing in your way to treating life as a spiritual endeavour.
Now over to you…
What are you taking away from this lesson on how to learn life? Let me know in the comments section below.
And to stay updated with the latest articles on how working with a Counselling Psychotherapist trained in Emotional Freedom Techniques and Matrix Reimprinting will change your life, make sure to subscribe to my email newsletter below.
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