If you need to ask the question, how to have fun without alcohol, it’s likely you’ve got hidden beliefs about what it means to drink alcohol.
Therefore, what I’m diving more into in this article.
With party season coming up from Halloween to Ocktober fest to Christmas and New Year, drinking alcohol may be the main agenda of your fun-filled celebrations, along with many other people.
However, it doesn’t have to be that way because you can absolutely have fun without alcohol.
In fact, life in itself is way more fun and enjoyable without alcohol because you’re not left with that groggy, potentially regretful feeling the next day.
And, there are so many things you can do to have fun without alcohol.
But it all comes down to your perspective on drinking alcohol itself.
And therefore, why in this article, I want to show you how working with a Counselling Psychotherapist will either make you want to reduce your alcohol consumption or to stop drinking altogether.
So, let’s get started.
How to have fun without alcohol? Hidden beliefs
Every behaviour/habit that we have begins with one or more hidden beliefs.
And in the case of believing you need alcohol to have fun, are a number of hidden beliefs around who choosing to drink alcohol (or not choosing to drink alcohol) makes you (and doesn’t make you) as a person.
For instance, some beliefs around who you become (and don’t become) when drinking alcohol are:
|Alcohol makes you…||Alcohol doesn’t make you…|
|Brings out the real you||Uncomfortable/anxious|
|Someone who fits in||A teetotaler|
So you see the connotation of who drinking alcohol makes you (and doesn’t make you) are so stark with no space in between that drinking alcohol becomes the norm.
Because I mean who wants to be any of the qualities on the right-hand side?
Until that is, you learn to become comfortable with those terms within yourself because we can all experience ourselves in these ways.
But it’s how we relate to them that matters.
Where these hidden beliefs come from?
Hidden beliefs, often come from our own interpretations of events outside of ourselves including the words and actions of:
- Friends (i.e. peer pressure)
- The media
However, where these hidden beliefs come from, isn’t so much what’s important here, because either way, they’re now yours to take on responsibility for changing them.
What is important, therefore, is understanding what you’re believing about yourself and the events, people, places, situations and experiences in your life when you drink alcohol as opposed to when you don’t drink alcohol.
And resolving those beliefs about who you are as an individual when you’re not drinking alcohol.
Since all those thoughts and feelings you have about yourself when you’re not drinking alcohol all equate to your sense of self-worth, which you can find more information on in my article HOW TO FIND YOUR WORTH AND WHY IT MATTERS.
And most likely aren’t at all true about you but because you believe them to be true and you’ve not obtained a change in perspective on them, they become true for you.
Breaking free from the need to drink alcohol to have fun
An example of one of your beliefs might be that you feel less social when you don’t drink alcohol.
Or it might be you believe, that alcohol will make you feel less awkward.
So let’s take a look at those beliefs in more detail through the lens I’ve put to you above.
The beliefs: ‘I’m not social enough’ and ‘I feel ‘awkward’ when I’m not drinking alcohol’
What if I was to tell you, you don’t need to know how to be more social or less awkward because how you are as you are in each moment in time, is enough, and your natural state of being is one of connection, and therefore, social.
Would you believe me?
Likely you wouldn’t.
Why? because you have been socially conditioned to believe that drinking alcohol doesn’t make you any of these things (i.e. awkward or less social) so when you do actually drink alcohol, it acts as your belief system or more correctly, your excuse (i.e. the placebo) for making you more social and less awkward.
So again they become true for you so you do actually fit tose labels of being more social and less awkward.
However, what you’ll find if you take a deeper look into your subconscious mind, is that alcohol is actually a cover-up for what you’re really thinking, feeling and believing about yourself in relation to other people in those moments where you’re at a party or event.
So alcohol only heightens and covers up, what’s really underneath.
How can I be more social without drinking? & How do I not be awkward without drinking?
What this means then is, to be more social and less awkward without alcohol, you need four components, which you get by working with a Counselling Psychotherapist trained in EFT and Matrix Reimprinting.
- An understanding and awareness of yourself;
- Knowing how to take on responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, actions and reactions
- A high sense self-worth
1. An understanding and awareness of yourself
When you understand and have a deeper awareness of yourself (and/or perhaps more so when you feel somebody else understands and has a deeper awareness of you than you even necessarily have of you), that is, your fears, doubts, experiences and insecurities in the context of human psychology and the human experience, you naturally feel happier and more comfortable in your own skin.
Therefore, you don’t need anything outside of yourself like alcohol to have fun or to make you feel anything.
Because you already get everything you want and need from you and somebody else having a deeper understanding and awareness of you.
And so, it’s this, which drives your actions and behaviours in a more positive direction.
2. Knowing how to take on responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, actions and reactions
In saying that, however, part of understanding and having a deeper awareness of yourself is also knowing how to take on responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, actions and reactions because it’s this too, which also makes you happy.
As it makes you feel like you are more in control of your life as opposed to anything and anyone outside of you.
And so further spurs you into taking positive action towards your goals, dreams, desires.
Therefore, being able to also resolve any challenge or struggle you face also.
At the same time, however, it is impossible to achieve a deeper understanding and awareness of yourself if you do not instil a regular meditation practice, preferably whilst working with a Counselling Psychotherapist, to begin with, until you get the hang of it (see more here >>> 3 TOOLS TO GROW OUTSIDE THERAPY SESSIONS).
This is because meditation helps you to feel safer and more grounded in your everyday life, which in turn makes it easier for you to be able to practice mindfulness too, on a moment to moment basis.
4. A high sense of self-worth
All of the above, therefore, support you in having a high sense of self-worth, which means your identity is no longer tied to who you think, feel and believe, alcohol makes you and doesn’t make you in relation to/in contrast to other people.
As a result, seeing yourself as you are in every moment in time (with or without alcohol and no matter who you’re with), as enough.
And trusting in your intuitive thoughts and feelings about certain situations so you can be more social and less awkward with and without alcohol.
Which takes time, patience and perseverance working with a Counselling Psychotherapist to get there.
But is absolutely worth it once you do get there.
Why a high self-worth matters when looking to change your beliefs around needing to drink alcohol to have fun?
A high sense of self-worth, in particular, matters when looking to change your beliefs around needing alcohol to have fun because it’s only in having this that you’ll be able to develop the following five charismatic and admirable qualities too.
1) The ability to stand strong in who you are as an individual
This is an important quality to have because if, as the quote above says, you don’t stand for something, you will shift and change who you are to fit in with everybody and everything else around you.
And that includes drinking alcohol to have fun just because your friends are drinking or your colleagues are drinking, or your family are drinking.
When (if you really think about it) you don’t necessarily want to be drinking alcohol yourself.
Which not only makes you feel bad about yourself in the long run because it’s like your deserting yourself to fit in with others as opposed to sticking to your true self.
But it will also make you lose the respect of everyone else around you too whether consciously or unconsciously.
2) Strong and firm boundaries
Incidentally, the ability to stay strong in who you are then has a positive direct knock-on effect in your ability to set strong and firm boundaries with others.
As it’s in having strong and firm boundaries with the people around you, that will allow you to stay true to yourself and not veer away from it.
Sometimes, I’ll be honest however, there will be people in your life who aren’t used to you setting strong and firm boundaries with them.
But that isn’t for you to worry about. That’s for them to worry about.
Because all that’s important to you is your ability to stay strong in who you are because in the long run, that’s what will make you happy.
3) The confidence to turn away from people who still believe they need alcohol to have fun
When you have the confidence to set strong and firm boundaries with others, it also means you have the confidence to stand alone.
Which means that no one is capable of guilting, judging or criticising you into doing anything you do not want to do, including drinking alcohol to have fun.
Because you also learn to not take the words and actions of others personally anymore.
Which also makes you more comfortable to leave the friends whose beliefs no longer align with yours.
And instead, to source a new friendship group who you do have similar beliefs with.
4) The confidence to make and stand up for your own decisions
And if you can stand alone, you bet you can also have the confidence to make and stand up for your own decisions.
As opposed to going along with the crowd and staying with the status quo.
Which, to begin with, will feel like you need to expend a hell of a lot of energy and effort to do since it’s so easy to go along with the status quo and what everybody else is doing and we’re not necessarily so used to this way of being with others.
5) The confidence to engage in new hobbies
All of the above, therefore, overall will give you the incentive to take up new fun hobbies and activities, which don’t involve drinking alcohol to have fun, such as:
- Meditation and other tools and practices (see: 3 TOOLS TO GROW OUTSIDE THERAPY SESSIONS)
- Reading personal development books/ attending personal development talks
- Improving your health and fitness
- Eating out
- Starting a business
Which you can find more information in my article HOW DO I FIND MY PASSION AND MOTIVATION?
Working with a Counselling Psychotherapist to learn to have fun without alcohol
To be completely honest, however, you won’t necessarily need to find completely new activities and hobbies to have fun without alcohol.
You’ll more or less be able to do the exact same activities you did before, except without alcohol and perhaps the people who only want to have fun when there’s alcohol around.
Why? because essentially what you’ll learn working with a Counselling Psychotherapist as you seek to increase your self-worth is to see life and the people you meet and come across from a different perspective to the one you have currently been viewing them from.
So just like you might start seeing your current friendship group from a less favourable perspective, you might start seeing new people you meet from perhaps a more positive perspective and will seek to purposely seek out certain types of people over others based on your newfound confidence levels.
But you do need to be courageous enough to leave your old friends behind before necessarily finding your new friendship group, as you will continue to use them as an excuse for holding you back on getting what you really want out of life and that includes drinking less alcohol or completely abstaining from it.
How will you begin seeing new people you meet from a more positive perspective?
1) Having different expectations of what it means to have fun with others
Currently, you might have an unconscious belief that other people are supposed to fulfil a need for you in order for you to be happy.
Therefore, when other people can’t fulfil that need, you start getting angry and finding faults and blaming them for not being able to give you what you want and need, without realising nobody else can give you what you want and need.
Only you can give that to yourself.
However, this is something you learn through increasing your sense of self-worth, not something that comes naturally to people.
Which means, it’s only through increasing your sense of self-worth too, that you’ll start to have lower expectations of what it means to be with and have fun with others.
2) A renewed feeling of gratitude for anyone you engage with
As a result, leading you to start feeling more of a sense of gratitude towards others as you begin to simply feel more grateful for their presence and company.
And see them for who they truly are as opposed to who and what you want them to be.
Summary: How to have fun without alcohol?
So there you have it, how to have fun without alcohol.
Firstly, identify your hidden beliefs, such as, whether you believe drinking alcohol makes you more social and less awkward and understand that it is these, which are causing you to believe that you can’t have fun without alcohol, when of course that isn’t true.
Once you know what you’re hidden beliefs are, work on them.
So in the case of being more social and less awkward, work on increasing your understanding and awareness of yourself, learn how to take on responsibility and meditate, to overall increase your sense of self-worth.
As doing so, will enable you to say yes to the right things like meditation, personal development, working towards your personal goals, dreams and desires, and no to the wrong things, including people who believe they need alcohol to have fun.
- HOW DO I FIND MY PASSION AND MOTIVATION?
- 9 HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER
- HOW DO I GET RID OF MINDLESS SCROLLING TO GET MY LIFE BACK?
Now over to you
I would love to know what hidden beliefs you believe you might have around alcohol so let me know in the comments section below.
And if you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to my email newsletter below to stay in the know on how working with a Counselling Psychotherapist can support you to develop personally and professionally.