Hate your life and want to know what you can specifically do about it?
If so, this post is for you as I’ll go through why it’s okay to be at this stage of your life and the one action step you can take to change how you think and feel about life.
Hating your life feels like being stuck in a bottomless pit.
I know because I was there for many years and from what I’ve heard listening to many inspirational leaders in the personal development field and successful actors, they too have been there.
Except, unfortunately, we don’t hear about them in the midst of their struggle.
We only get the privilege of hearing about their story once they’ve overcome their struggle and have finally become successful, which sadly doesn’t make it any easier for us who are currently in the midst of it.
However, what I hope you can glean from this, is if they can make their way out of a life they think sucks to creating one they love so can you.
And I’m here to show you how.
Before we get into the nuts and bolts of this post, I want to start with a caveat around the action I suggest you take towards the end of my post, which is a line of thought many people think and gets them even more stuck in the pit of thinking life sucks, as a result.
And it’s this, well this person didn’t need to do that and that person didn’t need to do that, why do I need to do that?
And my answer to that is because you’re not them and what each person needs is different to what the next person needs.
What other people don’t think to take into consideration too when they say this is, what happened (or didn’t happen) and what was (or wasn’t) going on in that person’s life to enable them to reach where they are?
In addition to, what support they had in place and what lessons they learnt, which enabled them to reach where they are.
So this post isn’t for those people. It’s for people who haven’t got the support in place and struggle to listen to their intuition to be able to take action towards following their dreams and acting on their ideas if (that is) they know at all what their dreams and desires are.
So if that sounds like you keep reading.
And, let’s dive in.
Why it’s okay to think I hate my life? 4 reasons
I know it sounds strange to say that it’s okay to hate your life when clearly it’s not a fun place to be.
However, thinking there’s something wrong with you because you haven’t reached certain goals and milestones like others have and as though you’re the only one in the world who is (or has been) going through a really tough time isn’t going to help you.
In fact, it’s going to make you feel even more stuck and entrenched in the difficulties of life, rather than finding a way to move forward from the challenges you are experiencing.
Also, you cannot change anything in your life unless you understand its relevance and importance in your life. And therefore, resolving it’s okay to feel how you feel.
In other words, until you’re able to obtain a change in perspective on it. As it’s this change in perspective, which is exactly the incentive you need to be able to find the kindness and compassion you need for yourself and others.
So, why is it important you understand why hating your life (right now) is okay starting with this one…
1) You are not alone
No matter how alone you might feel being in this situation, it’s particularly important you remember you aren’t alone.
And that there are tons of people who are and have been where you are right now in this very moment, and maybe are even further off from where you are because at least you’re at a stage where you’re looking to do something about it and are no longer denying it.
I know that’s difficult to believe when you feel so alone and like things are never going to get better no matter what you do, but they will, that is, provided you take the action I recommend to make them better.
As I know remembering you’re not alone can be difficult, to help you with this, I absolutely recommend you read Start Where You Are by Pema Chodron because it will give you a practical tool to help you to remember this fact and feel better about yourself and the situations you’re experiencing.
2) Suffering is a neccessary part of life
As much as we don’t like or want to admit it, suffering is an inevitable part of life for everybody.
So I’m afraid to say, there is no escaping it.
All we can do is what Tara Brach suggests we do, which is to ‘learn how to ride the waves.
3) Neccessary for growth
Why is suffering a necessary part of life? Because of this one fact…without suffering you would have no incentive to claw your way out of it, you would have no incentive to grow yourself and your life.
And as a result, use your experiences as way to help and make a difference to others, in order to move the evolution of humanity forward, as many others have done and are still doing today.
Also, where would the fun be if everything was always sunshine and rainbows all the time? You’d get bored very easily, wouldn’t you?
Why? Because you’d have nothing to work towards and you certainly would have nothing to be grateful for once you’d achieved what you were working towards (i.e. a better and happier life).
When we’re in it, of course, we don’t want to be in it, but it is imperative we get stuck in it for a while because as I said earlier it’s exactly the incentive we need to be able to claw out way out of it.
And when we do eventually find happiness we’ll learn to love and appreciate ourselves, our lives and others more than ever before.
A metaphor for your struggle
Think of it as a tunnel and having to endure a long period of challenge before you can get to the other side.
Or better yet listen to this Marie Forleo interview with Martha Beck for an even better metaphor.
4) Nothing lasts forever
Remembering that nothing lasts forever, will also do you well because it means you don’t have to hate life for the rest of your life.
It only needs to be temporary.
4 Reasons why you think the thought ‘I hate my life‘
So now you have a change in perspective on thinking the thoughts ‘I hate my life’ or ‘my life sucks’, it’s time to turn to what are the causes of your unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life.
Why? because let’s face it, it’s not always easy for us to pinpoint the exact causes of our own dissatisfaction and unhappiness with life no matter how many questions we ask ourselves.
1) You don’t know the real you
Not knowing the real you is a difficult place to be in because it’s the only point from which you can work towards changing yourself and your life.
And therefore, without it, it is nigh on impossible to move from ‘I hate my life’ to ‘I love my life’.
So is a really big part of the jigsaw puzzle of why you think the thought ‘I hate my life’.
LEARN MORE: HOW TO CHANGE MYSELF?
What does it mean to not know the real you?
I talk more about how to find the real you in my post here >>> HOW TO FIND THE REAL YOU (AND STOP BEING FED UP WITH LIFE).
But in essence, to not know the real you means that you are taking actions based on your social conditioning.
Which, in other words, means that you are taking actions based on the beliefs, ideas, thoughts and feelings of others, including institutions, like your family, schooling, to the media, religion etc.).
Rather than thinking for yourself and taking actions based on what you need, want and desire for your own life.
This isn’t something you’re conscious of doing but rather it’s an unconscious act.
Therefore, as Dr Joe Dispenza says your first job is to begin to make the unconscious, conscious and the unfamiliar, familar.
2) You don’t know your worth
If you don’t know the real you then you certainly cannot know your worth as I talk more about in my post HOW TO FIND YOUR WORTH AND WHY IT MATTERS because your worth is directly tied to knowing the real you and to loving yourself and as a result, your life.
In addition, if you knew your worth, you would be pursuing the activities, which light you up rather than sitting here hating your life because you’d be too busy working on the things, which matter to you.
So another big part of the jigsaw puzzle.
LEARN MORE: HOW TO CHANGE MYSELF?
3) You’re not clear on what you want
When you don’t know yourself and lack confidence in yourself and your abilities because of a lack of self-worth, it’s difficult to accept what you want for yourself and your life because what you want for yourself and your life is likely to go against societies (i.e. institutions) norms and standards.
Therefore, making you feel ashamed of going after what you truly want and denying what you want for yourself and your life in order to fit in with the status quo.
So instead, of going for the things, which you really want to go for, you go for the things, which society tells you, you ought to want and pursue.
Therefore, another important part to you moving from ‘I hate my life’ to ‘I love my life’.
4) You feel disconnected from people and the purpose of life
When all of the above are missing in your life, a feeling of disconnection from yourself, other people, and what life is at it’s core, is something, which inevitably follows.
Therefore, making you feel lost and directionless like you don’t know where you and your life are heading.
This is because it’s all of the above combined, which give you and your life a sense of meaning and direction.
Therefore, equating to what people usually refer to as discovering your life’s purpose.
LEARN MORE: HOW DO I FIND MY PASSION AND MOTIVATION?
The one action worth taking to overcome the thought ‘I hate my life‘
So, you’ve got a change in perspective, you understand why you hate your life and what you need to be able to stop thinking life sucks, but how can you obtain what it is you need?
Work with a Counselling Psychotherapist.
Why work with a Counselling Psychotherapist to overcome the thought ‘I hate my life’?
1) For a change in perspective
Knowing your worth, the real you and going after what you want requires you to first understand how your very specific thoughts and feelings towards yourself, others and the situations taking place (and have taken place) in your life are impacting you on a day to day basis.
And the alternative ways you can be looking at yourself, others and the situations, people, places and experiences, which are (and aren’t) and have and haven’t taken place in your life.
As I talk more about in my post A COMPLETE GUIDE ON WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO MAKE LIFE BETTER.
This is because getting to a stage where you know the real you, you know your worth, what you want and feeling connected to life, is a result of following the above process, which takes years not months.
In addition, I’ve only listed some things, which are the cause to why you hate your life, but since I don’t specifically know what you’ve been through, there might be other things in your very own personal life, which are the cause and I’ve not covered.
Therefore, will be teased out as you go through the therapy process with a Counselling Psychotherapist.
2) To gain support with taking action
Working to find the real you and your worth isn’t an easy task to ask anybody to undergo.
However, it’s necessary for you to be able to cross that bridge over towards loving yourself and your life.
And therefore, requires you to have a lot of support from a therapist to be able to undertake positive strides towards changing yourself (See How to change myself?) and your life.
As a result, where working with a Counselling Psychotherapist can help you, if, that is you commit to the process over a long period of time (up to 5 years) and being as open, honest and as vulnerable with them as you can be.
Similarly, to how I discuss in my post EVER BEEN BULLIED? 4 REASONS WHY THERAPY IS IMPORTANT.
3) For the transformational tools and practices you will be given
We’ve all built these defences within us, which stop us from getting the things we say we want in life.
Therefore, through implementing the transformational tools and practices given to us, like meditation and mindfulness, alongside the face to face sessions, we can better overcome the struggles we’re facing.
Because these tools enable us to dissolve our beliefs, quit our bad habits, break down the emotional walls (yes there are layers upon layers within our body we need to work through) we’ve built so high within to let other people out.
And to regulate our emotions so we can build better relationships with ourselves (our emotions, thoughts and feelings) as well as others.
Granted it will still take a long time and won’t be easy to see results in your life, but without what a Counselling Psychotherapist can provide, you may never be able to find happiness, which I know isn’t what you want.
The result of working with a Counselling Psychotherapist
1) An increase in energy levels
The talking therapy plus the tools provided in sessions and which you practice away from therapy sessions (i.e. meditation and mindfulness) give you energy back and time you never knew you had.
How? By changing the way you feel in your body, in relation to the circumstances, people and places within your life.
As a result, allowing you to engage in activities, which are good for your mental health and wellbeing, but at the minute you might not necessarily feel like taking part in because you feel so down and out about yourself and your life.
For instance, things like…
- Cleaning your room
- Going out for a walk
- Exercising regularly
- Journaling/writing morning pages daily (Read more: 3 Tools to Grow Outside of Therapy sessions)
- Getting enough sleep
- Eating healthily
2) Silencing of the inner critic and comparing yourself to others
As a bonus too, when you work on finding your worth, the real you, pursuing the things you really want in life and feeling a connection to life, you also work to silence your critical inner voice, which often takes the form of comparing yourself to others.
As a result, further contributing to your ability to create a happy life for yourself eventually.
3) Realising you are capable of more than you realise
When you hate your life, it’s not uncommon to feel powerless against changing the circumstances of your life.
Therefore, by working with Counselling Psychotherapist you also work to reclaim your power to create anything you want to experience in life.
As a result, realising you are capable of more than you first thought you were.
Summary: Hate my life! Why it’s okay and the one action worth taking
So there you have it why it’s okay to hate your life and the one action worth taking (working with a Counselling Psychotherapist) to change your life.
Now over to you…
I would love to know if any of the above resonated with you and if so what. So please leave a comment in the comments section below.
And don’t forget to subscribe to my email newsletter to ensure you stay in the know about how working with a Counselling Psychotherapist will further support you to develop personally and professionally, as well as, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest.
- HOW CAN I BE HAPPY?
- A COMPLETE GUIDE ON WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO MAKE LIFE BETTER
- HOW DO I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO? (AN ULTIMATE GUIDE)