If you’ve been wondering whether seeing a therapist makes you weak you’ve come to the right place as that’s the exact question I’m answering today.
What will others think? Other people don’t need therapy.
Are a couple of the thoughts you might be having around seeing a therapist.
Therefore, feeling angry, resistant and indenial toward working with one.
Therefore, is exactly why you need to read this post as I’ll show you what’s causing you to feel this way and how you can see working with a therapist differently so you can get the help you need and stop seeing it as weak.
So, let’s get started with some background on where your belief came from.
Before then diving deeper into the 15 reasons why seeing a therapist doesn’t make you weak.
The link between believing seeing a therapist makes you weak and asking yourself the question ‘What’s wrong with me’?
Thinking seeing a therapist (or what I prefer to say ‘working with a therapist’) makes you weak is a belief, which goes hand in hand with the belief ‘there’s something wrong with you’ (see: WHY YOU WANT TO WORK WITH A THERAPIST NOT SEE A THERAPIST?).
Since your resistance to seeing a therapist is your belief ‘there’s something wrong with me’ confirmed and reaffirmed into your reality.
And your ego is doing everything it can to avoid and fight off the confirmation and affirmation there’s something wrong with it and by-product, you.
Since if this is true, then what does that mean for you? (i.e. you’re worthless)
In addition, when you’re perception then tells you no one else is in therapy or no one else needs therapy (when you don’t have any hard cold facts to prove that) this further confirms and reaffirms the identity you’ve built up for yourself that there’s something wrong with you and if you see a therapist that will confirm it.
So you see your beliefs are always trying to prove themselves right, even when they’re not. And it’s for this reason why you’re either moving away from something or towards something.
Not because it means anything in particular.
LEARN MORE: HOW TO FIND YOUR WORTH AND WHY IT MATTERS
Believing ‘seeing a therapist makes you weak’ and ‘What’s wrong with me’
These two beliefs, however, didn’t start with seeing a therapist.
In fact, they started much earlier and simply reverberated outward toward seeing and working with, a therapist.
Where the belief ‘seeing a therapist makes you weak’ and ‘what’s wrong with me’ came from’?
1) Our family’s
In the UK, we’re known for being reserved, and holding what is known as a stiff upper lip.
But, this culture isn’t unique to the UK only.
It’s also present and has been present for a long time within families across countries and divides.
Therefore, impacting to a large degree our willingness (or reluctance) to talk to someone about whatever we’re thinking and feeling.
How the beliefs ‘what’s wrong with me’ and ‘therapy is weak’ were formed in our families?
Growing up in a family regarded as reserved and with a stiff upper lip, therefore, will have meant being met with disapproval towards the expression of your thoughts and feelings.
Therefore, leading you to conclude sharing your thoughts and feelings in the first place was wrong of you to do because it had you heading straight towards pain.
Which further lead you to believe you couldn’t trust anyone outside of you to share your thoughts and feelings with because it wasn’t safe to do so.
So in order to survive, you needed to do everything by yourself by becoming self-sufficient and self-reliant.
What’s wrong with being self-sufficient and self-reliant?
Now to be clear there’s nothing wrong with being self-sufficient and self-reliant, however, it does come at a price when you feel like you need to do everything on your own and there’s no one else out there to support you.
This is because we weren’t designed to do it all on our own.
So there’s only so much one person can take (even you) before they crumble.
Therefore, requiring you to learn how to be less self-sufficient and self-reliant and to trust in the flow of life as I talk more about in my post HOW TO LEARN LIFE (NOW YOU’RE A “FULLY-FLEDGED” ADULT)?.
2) The culture we were brought up in
Just as influential as our families are in informing us of what’s acceptable and what isn’t, so is the culture we were brought up in.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say, our family culture and the culture we were brought up in, influence each other in maintaining our beliefs ‘I’m not good enough’ and ‘seeing a therapist makes you weak’.
As they too have reinforced the stigma and shame attached to expressing your thoughts and feelings.
Although, that culture is now somewhat changing.
3) Social class
Bring in class too and oh boy have you got a whole set of other issues.
As those in the working class category not only have to face the shame of talking about their thoughts and feelings but also the shame of needing to pay money toward seeking outside support.
When for so long they’ve built their identity around living below their means and saving every last penny they’ve got.
That it requires a particular mindset change around it, which you’re only able to get through participating with the therapy process itself.
Does seeing a therapist make you weak?
So now you have a bit of background on your belief ‘seeing a therapist makes you weak’, I hope you can see this belief and therefore, your reaction towards working with a therapist, is simply based on your past social conditioning.
In other words, what you learnt as a result of the environment you grew up in.
Is it normal not to want to go to therapy?
And as a result, why it’s normal for you not to want to go to therapy.
But not a reason for why you shouldn’t engage with therapy.
In fact, it’s all the more reason for why you should and must.
Especially because of these 15 reasons why seeing a therapist doesn’t make you weak but strong and smart.
15 reasons why seeing a therapist doesn’t make you weak, but strong and wise
1) You have to face your fears about therapy head on
Based on the above, and as I talk about in my post CONSIDERING THERAPY? WHY YOU NEED TO IGNORE THESE 3 STRONG FEARS, your decision to see a therapist isn’t one that comes lightly.
The reason being you’re likely to be faced with three strong fears, in particular, which will require you to muster up enough courage to be able to see working with a therapist (between 3 and 5 years) through.
However, when you do overcome that initial hurdle, it becomes much easier as you realise there’s nothing to be fearful about.
Although that doesn’t mean your doubts and fears won’t creep in every now and again.
That is, until a strong bond of trust is formed with your therapist, where you can pretty much feel comfortable saying anything and everything to them.
And can trust there’s no other solution out there for you, but this one.
Therefore, overall, making you more wiser and stronger all the more for it.
2) You have to come face to face with your deepest darkest secrets
The second fear we have to come face to face with is sharing our deepest darkest secrets with someone.
Especially when we have felt we’ve needed to keep them under wraps for fear of shame and embarrassment.
Therefore, the fact we can’t escape them working with a therapist makes it that much more challenging for us when we’ve learnt it’s not acceptable to talk about our thoughts and feelings with others.
As a result, by facing our fears in sharing them with even one person, they begin to dissipate and we become more comfortable with sharing them with others too.
Therefore, you guessed it, making us mentally and emotionally stronger.
3) You have to hear yourself aloud (and potentially see your thoughts and feelings on paper)
It’s one thing to tell yourself something and it’s a whole other thing to say it aloud to someone else or worse yet, have to come face to face with them on paper, as I discovered during the Coronavirus and which, I talk about in my post 3 TOOLS TO GROW OUTSIDE THERAPY SESSIONS.
Therefore, making having to face your struggles that lit bit more difficult.
As sometimes we don’t realise the impact or the significance of something we’re thinking and feeling about ourselves or others, until we come to the point of having to say it to someone else.
And they in turn put it into context for us.
As a result, th more we do it, the more stronger we become mentally and emotionally as we become better at acknowledging and facing the difficult thoughts and feelings we’re having about ourselves and others.
4) You have to work to dismantle your limiting beliefs
Every week you see a therapist and you share your thoughts, feelings and challenges with them, what you’re really doing is working to dismantle your limiting beliefs.
However, dismantling your limiting beliefs is again by no means an easy feat.
Since they’re ingrained within us, so require lots of effort, attention and repetition from us (and our therapists), to be able to change them.
Therefore, giving you the willpower to not only see dismantling your limiting beliefs through but anything else your struggling with through too.
5) You have to rebel against what you’ve considered as ‘normal’ and natural to you
If you learnt you needed to be self-sufficient and self-reliant, therefore, relying entirely and primarily on yourself, learning to lean on someone else, like a therapist, for emotional support, isn’t going to be easy.
Not because there is anything wrong with you.
But because, as I said earlier, your mind has been trained to see seeking outside support as unsafe, to see working with a therapist as unsafe and most of all, to see being vulnerable and sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences with others as unsafe.
So instead of having to face them you’d much rather avoid them.
Therefore, it further requires you to muster up enough courage to be able to override the thoughts and feelings, which tell you, you don’t need therapy or that therapy makes you weak and no one else needs it, why do you.
Since these thoughts and feelings are simply there to protect you and keep you safe from what they have learnt might be harmful to you.
6) You have to admit to your weaknesses
Another reason why seeing a therapist is so hard is because it means having to admit to your weaknesses.
It means having to say ‘I’m not good at this’ or ‘I’m thinking and feeling this terrible thing’.
As a result, is difficult for the ego to do when it’s for so long tried so hard to build these walls of defence around it, to prevent it from being seen as ‘not good enough’ or as being wrong.
However, by taking them out of the darkness and putting them into the light you make your weaknesses less of a big deal so you learn not to take things so personally (i.e. others words and actions, an attack towards yourself).
As a result, also making you more stronger and more emotionally resilient.
7) You begin to feel confident with your own personal power
In a world where self-deprecation is prized, acknowleding your very own personal power, can come as a shock to you and well to the other people around you.
Therefore, throwing you off guard and leaving you wanting to make yourself small again.
However, every time you work to overcome this with your therapist, you become that little bit stronger and that little bit stronger.
So overtime you embrace it.
8) You become more knowledgeable than others (or at least it feels that way)
What you learn in therapy stays in therapy.
As a result, you can’t find the information you’re learning in therapy elsewhere.
Why? because what you’re learning in therapy is around helping YOU specifically, to understand what you’re struggling with and why, as well as, providing you with advice and guidance on how to better approach the situations you’re facing so you can experience more joy and happiness in your life.
Sure, you might be able to find some of the information on the internet in drips and drabs, here and there, but it’s not the same.
Firstly, because it’s not being directly applied to what you’re struggling with and the advice and guidance provided isn’t always constructive or personal to you.
In fact, it even has the possibility of making you feel worse about yourself and your life.
And sure, working with a therapist can also make you feel worse.
But the difference is you have someone to talk to about it so you can work towards understanding the cause of it and implementing a solution toward it.
Secondly, you wouldn’t be able to find the information you’re learning because without the support of a therapist you wouldn’t haven’t any clue where to look for it, nor would you be able to evaluate its usefulness, or necessarily be very open to it because it’s in working with your therapist you become more and more open to learning new information.
And lastly, it doesn’t help you to form the bigger picture on what the purpose of you and your life is, which is important because you were born for a reason and in working with a therapist over a long period of time (roughly between 3 and 5 years) you will get to uncover it.
9) You learn and implement new tools into your life
The tools I talk about here >>> 3 TOOLS TO GROW OUTSIDE THERAPY SESSIONS and here 4 MIND-BLOWING TOOLS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR WORLD AND HELP YOU TO OVERCOME PAST REGRETS have the power to increase your intuition.
As a result, enabling you to preempt what others might think or feel were you to say this particular thing, or carry out that particular action.
Therefore, stopping yourself from saying and acting in ways, which might jeopardise your relationships.
10) You learn to let go of the wrong people in your life
Creating a life you love is difficult when you have the wrong people in your life.
People who make you feel bad about yourself and your life.
But what’s worse, is not being able to recognise in yourself the people who make you feel this way and what exactly it is about their words and behaviours, which make you feel this way.
Therefore, keeping them in your life.
(p.s it’s not that they’re to blame for making you feel bad about yourself and your life, you likely already felt that way, but they’re the ones who reinforce this feeling in you and dig the knife in even more to how you’re likely already feeling about yourself and your life).
11) Doing the uncommon becomes the norm for you
The status quo is really difficult for us to manoeuvre ourselves away from because we all want to fit in.
However, when you work with a therapist you become more comfortable with doing the uncommon and what the majority of people aren’t doing.
Although of course, that’s not to say fear and guilt aren’t going to rise up in you.
As you’re going against what you consider to be ‘normal’.
Therefore, making you different and unique from everyone else and stronger, and resilient to everyone else.
12) You develop the courage to make decisions you never would have made before
Hand in hand with the above, you also develop a propensity towards making decisions, which lots of other people aren’t willing to make.
So further seperating your from the pack and making you even more strong and resilient compared to them.
13) You learn to love yourself more for doing so
Loving yourself and your life, is as hard as hating yourself and your lif when it’s something you’re not used to.
Therefore, by you learning to love yourself, you’re further building your muscle of resilience and grit.
As a result, helping you to get better at being able to give and receive love too.
14) You allow your best self to shine
Being ‘bad’ feels much easier to us at times, than perhaps it does to feel ‘good’.
So allowing our best to shine through can be difficult.
However, by making a conscious choice over and over again of who we want to be, we build our muscle of directing our life in the direction we want it to go rather than simply letting our circumstances dictate where it goes.
15) You learn how to better lean on others for support
The most difficult challenge, which builds our strength of all, however, has to be learning to lean on others for support.
As this requires a lot of effort to be able to see people differently to those in your past.
Summary: Does working with a therapist make you weak? 15 reasons why it doesn’t
So there it is, the answer to your question ‘Does working with a therapist make you weak? 15 reason why it doesn’t’.
Firstly acknowledging based on your family conditioning, the conditioning of the culture you were born into and your class, you may have been taught sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with others was wrong. Therefore, why you believe ‘seeing a therapist makes you weak’.
And essentially why going against the grain by working with a therapist, makes you stronger and wiser in 15 ways, not weaker.
Now over to you…
I would love to know what insight you’re taking away from this blog post …So leave a comment in the comments section below.
- CONSIDERING THERAPY? WHY YOU NEED TO IGNORE THESE 3 STRONG FEARS
- 3 QUALITIES YOU NEED TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR PSYCHOTHERAPY SESSIONS
- 5 WAYS NOT TO WASTE YOUR TIME (OR MONEY) ON PSYCHOTHERAPY