Have you been endlessly searching for a way to make life better in the hope this will also give you the answer to how you can be happy? and how you can stop thinking the thought I hate my life but haven’t yet found the answer?
If so, you’re in luck, as I show you how you can make life better simply by deciding to work with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist over a period of up to 5 years.
If you’ve clicked on this article, it’s probably safe to say you’re dissatisfied and unhappy with life, in one way or another.
Whether that’s with who you are as a person and wishing you were somebody else, with somebody else’s life.
Or with your personal relationships with family, friends, your partner, or lack thereof.
And/or, your professional life with work colleagues.
Therefore, leaving you wanting to know what you can specifically do to improve your life.
So, what I’m going to give you in this article.
By showing you how working with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist specifically will support you to make life better.
So, let’s dive in.
How to make your life better and happier?
When most people question how they can make their life better and be happy, they often turn to sources outside themselves.
Similarly, to how you’re doing right now, by looking up how to make your life better and happier, or similar.
However, I’m afraid the answer to your question isn’t in looking outside yourself.
It’s in fact, in taking a deep-diving exploration into your mind, body, and soul.
Taking a deep-diving exploration into your mind, body, and soul
What I mean by this is essentially analyzing you, your life, and the events, which are taking place (and have taken place) within your life, from the inside out.
So you can find meaning and purpose within your life and the seemingly ordinary moments of your life.
But what exactly does it mean to analyze yourself from the inside out?
And how does analyzing yourself from the inside out result in making your life better and happier?
What it means to analyze yourself from the inside out
To analyze yourself from the inside out, therefore, means to understand:
- What it is you think
- How it is you feel; and
- How it is you react (and why) towards the people, places, experiences, and situations within your life.
As I discuss more in my post on How to change your life for the better and How to find the real you (and stop being fed up with life).
In order for you to be able to understand why your life is the way that it is and why certain outcomes have or are taking place within your life as they are.
So that you can begin to recognize within yourself thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions, which are both harmful to you and others.
How to take on responsibility?
As a result, allowing you to take on responsibility for choosing different thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions, so you can get a different outcome in your life to the one you are getting.
Which inevitably, improves your life remarkably as it makes you feel better (in the long run) about yourself, your life and how you are operating within the world.
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How does analyzing yourself from the inside out make life better and happier?
When you understand how you, others, and life itself works, and what actions you can specifically take to improve your life and you implement them into your life on a frequent basis, you feel better about yourself, others, and life itself.
2) Loving acceptance
As a result, finding love and acceptance of yourself, others, and life itself so you’re not holding yourself and the outside world to an impossible ideal they or you cannot possibly live up to.
3) Personal power
In addition, when you have an understanding and loving acceptance of yourself, others, and life itself, you also realize you have more options than you originally thought you did in how you can think, feel, behave and react, therefore, no longer becoming limited in your life choices.
So you no longer have to accept anything less than what you do want to experience within your life. Whether it’s more happiness, joy, or gratitude.
And, therefore, can design your life the way you want it to be.
The result of working with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist to make your life happier and better
It’s not only the act of taking a deep-diving exploration into your mind, body, and soul with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist, however, which contributes to a better life.
It’s also the result of doing this.
And what I’ll be talking about next.
The first result you’ll get from taking a deep-diving exploration into your mind, body, and soul, therefore, is growth.
Which is important if you ever want to be able to answer the question of How can I change myself?
Why growth matters?
All of us, including you, have an innate desire to learn and grow no matter our age. Therefore, when we’re not growing, we feel depressed, stuck, unhappy, and dissatisfied with our lives and can see no way out of our pain, suffering, and misery.
How can I grow my life fast?
Growth, however, takes time, effort (i.e. action), patience, and perseverance. Therefore, by its very nature, you cannot grow your life fast.
Since, if growing your life fast was at all possible, everybody in the world dissatisfied and unhappy with their life would be growing their life at lightning speed.
And the reward (i.e. the payoff) once you finally did receive the growth, wouldn’t be as great because it’s the hurdles you overcome in the process of learning about yourself for better and for worse, which makes the whole therapy process so worthwhile.
What does it mean to grow in life and grow as a person?
To grow in life and as a person, therefore, doesn’t mean reading a personal development book or article here, and watching a personal development video there, over days or months.
Since I’m afraid that isn’t going to cut the mustard.
Why? Because when you engage in those activities, you are engaging with the conscious part of your mind and you become merely a passive consumer of the information.
Learn more: 4 reasons self-help books don’t work for you
Learning with the conscious part of the mind
In other words, you are engaging with the part of the mind, which is within the parameters of all you know and understand from your:
- Observations of others
- Listening to others
- Own interpretations of yourself; and
- Life experiences
Which you have accumulated since the time you were born and, as a result, have formed a set of unsupportive thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
Which you are using as a filter when engaging in personal development books, articles, and videos to affirm what you are already thinking, feeling, and believing about yourself, others and your life.
Therefore, you aren’t actually learning and growing regardless of how much knowledge and information you are consuming.
Why? Because you aren’t actively working to change the filter from which you are perceiving these (i.e. your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs).
Changing the filter to create change in your life
This matters, since it’s through changing the filter you are viewing:
- Your life
- Life itself
- The situations in your life; and
- The information you are consuming
Which is ultimately going to alter your life for the better, therefore, helping you to grow in life and as a person.
Learn more: 4 reasons self-help books don’t work for you
What does this mean for you?
This means, therefore, you need to be able to muster enough confidence and courage to be able to step back into your subconscious mind.
Firstly by working with your thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions in the conscious mind and then by working with your body to get to the thoughts, feelings, and reactions in your subconscious mind.
Why stepping back into your subconscious mind isn’t easy?
This isn’t easy for anyone to do since the majority of the time we’re in our heads and conscious minds.
And we’re so used to being in our heads and conscious minds that it’s easy for us to get stuck there.
Believing that working with our heads and our conscious minds alone is enough to make our lives happier and better when it’s not.
As a result, we require a lot of emotional support, encouragement, and understanding from a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist to be able to do this, which is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
A passive consumer
As a passive consumer of the personal development books and articles you’re reading also, you further aren’t learning and growing since to see real transformation in making your life better and happier, you must find a way to embody what you are learning.
Otherwise, it will have absolutely no impact on your life what’s so ever.
How do you grow your life with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist?
There are three parts to growth in life and in working with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist.
Mental (mind) growth, Emotional (body) growth, and Spiritual (soul) growth.
All of which, need to take place in you, in order for growth to take place.
What does it mean to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?
This means, (like working with your conscious mind alone) if you only focus on growing your mind and your conceptual/intellectual understanding of yourself, others, and life itself through as I mentioned earlier, personal development books and videos, you will not grow much (if anything at all).
And if you only focus on growing and taking care of your body, physically through exercise, without seeking to understand where you are on an emotional bodily level, again it will not have much impact on making your life better and happier on a long-term basis.
And yes, you guessed it, the same goes when you neglect to take care of your spiritual growth and care too.
Therefore, you need to grow all three combined for you to experience successful growth in your life.
Mental (mind) growth to make your life happier and better with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist
Growing mentally with the support of a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist, therefore, begins firstly with starting from where you are in your thinking today.
And obtaining a change in perspective on them in order to be able to understand them from an angle you’ve not considered them from before.
Therefore, allowing you to drop any thoughts, which aren’t supporting you to live the best life you can live.
What it means to start from your thinking today:
1) Understanding how you think about the Situations taking place in your life
It’s easy for us to rehash the past in our minds over and over again, however, what’s most important is what you’re thinking about the:
- Situations; and
- Experiences (or lack thereof)
Taking place within your life today. This isn’t to say the past isn’t important and at times it will be necessary for you to revisit the past with your Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist to be able to resolve any memories, which are still likely to be affecting the way you feel about yourself today.
However, for the most part, it’s important to explore what’s going on for you today.
Learn more: The truth about what happens in therapy
2) Understanding Your approach to life
In other words, understanding how your thoughts are impacting your approach towards the people, places, situations, and experiences (or lack thereof) in your life.
And in understanding these, you can begin to…
3) Understand You
In other words, how you think about…
- Who you are as a person
- Life itself
- Your own life
- Relationships (family, friendships, love), money, work, etc.
- Men, women, black people, white people, Muslim people, Asian People, people of your own race, and any other race for that matter
Therefore, beginning to understand and become familiar with what your inner voice is like.
And what your beliefs are.
What does my perspective mean?
In essence, therefore, what I’m getting at is understanding your own perspective on yourself, your life, life itself, and others.
Why is understanding your perspective on life important?
This is important to understand because it’s only from knowing where you’re starting from and getting a different perspective on your thoughts, can you begin to make different positive life choices and changes.
The perspective you’ll gain from working with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist
Counseling Psychologist/Psychotherapists, therefore, support you in gaining a new perspective by feeding you information not only from the Psychology field but from the Metaphysics fields, Spirituality fields, Energy Psychology fields, Neuroscience fields, and Personal Development fields.
Not to mention providing you with transformative therapeutic tools, which will support you to transform your life and make the kinds of changes you want to see in your life.
Why can’t I grow up mentally?
If you have found you are struggling to grow up mentally, therefore, it’s because of this reason; No-one around you is providing you with a new perspective.
In other words, a new way of thinking about yourself, your life, others, and the world.
Conditions needed to be able to grow up mentally
In addition, for you to able to learn and grow mentally you need to feel connected to at least one person.
Otherwise, you will not be bothered to learn and grow. You will feel bored, uninspired, unhappy, and dare I say, lazy.
It’s for this reason, therefore, why it takes time to learn and grow in therapy since your results are dependent on the strength of your relationship with your therapist, which takes time to build.
Emotional (body) growth to make your life happier and better
Once you know where you are starting from in your thinking, you can, at the same time begin the process of becoming aware of where you are emotionally.
What this means, therefore, is becoming aware of what you are feeling at any given moment throughout the day and what it is about a specific situation taking place in your life, which is making you feel a certain way.
As a result, where mindfulness and meditation come in as I discuss in my post 4 Mind-Blowing Tools that will Change your World and Help you to Overcome Past Regrets.
As they support you in becoming more and more aware of both what you are thinking and what you are feeling.
Spiritual (soul) growth
In relation to where you are spiritually, well you don’t need to know and understand where you are starting from on that front, since you either know whether you believe in God, a higher power, the universe, etc, or you don’t.
And if you currently don’t believe in God, you might be reluctant to grow your spirituality.
The connection between spirituality and soul growth
Your spiritual growth, however, is connected to your soul’s growth, which is an important part of who you are and your day-to-day functioning as a human being. Therefore, cannot be removed from who you as a person.
So, it’s important you grow your spirituality too if you are truly seeking to make your life happier and better.
And by working with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist you get to kill three birds with one stone; the growth of your mind, body and soul.
How you’ll grow your spirituality by working with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist?
This doesn’t necessarily mean talking about God, the Universe, a higher power, etc, in every session, although your therapist will touch on it as they bring in metaphysics theories.
But rather, it’s more about engaging in spiritual practices and tools, which are going to support you in feeling grounded and connected to life itself.
Like I discuss in my post 3 tools to grow outside therapy sessions.
And trusting in the fact there is something bigger than you in this world.
What happens when you grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?
Change and the chance to turn your life around
Growth, as a result, will inevitably lead you to change for you cannot have growth without change since the two go hand in hand.
Is change and growth the same?
Change and growth are not the same, but growth is necessary for change to occur.
And it is, therefore, growth (mental, emotional, and spiritual) over a period of up to 5 years with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist, which makes changing and turning your life around possible.
How are growth and change related?
When you begin to change the filter (i.e. the unhelpful thoughts, feelings, and beliefs), I talked about earlier, from which you are viewing yourself, others, and life itself etc.
Through changing your perspective and obtaining the advice and guidance of a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist.
As well as, intentionally reflecting and implementing the recommendations they provide you with, along with, the spiritual tools and practices that will help you to overcome past regrets and tools to grow.
Whilst taking on responsibility for what you’re thinking, feeling, and believing about yourself, others, the situations taking place in your life and life itself.
It’s from here, you’ll begin to be able to see what in your life is and is not serving you.
Example of the change that will take place in you
For instance, this can be thoughts, feelings, beliefs, behaviours, reactions, and relationships hindering you from becoming the best version of yourself.
The result of growing and changing
And it’s all of these combined, which will support you in changing the outcome of your destiny.
As you will also learn to choose what thoughts, feelings, beliefs, behaviors, reactions, and relationships you do want to have in your life to make your life happier and better.
How can I completely change my personality?
If you’re wondering, therefore, how to completely change your personality because you believe it is your personality, which is making you unhappy with life and so is stopping you from getting what you want in life.
Then, I’m sorry to disappoint you because changing your personality is not what will happen through seeking to make your life better with the support of a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist.
As that is one of the few things, which you cannot turn from impossible to I am possible.
Your place in this world
You see you were born into this world exactly with the personality, interests, likes, dislikes, wants, and needs you have for a reason.
Therefore, are all required for you to be able to fulfil all your hopes, dreams and desires whether it’s a happy healthy relationship, children, success etc.
It’s just that you’ve learnt lots of unhelpful thinking, feeling and believing habits, which you need to unlearn to be able to fulfil them.
As a result, instead, what you will begin to do is find your worth, which is way better than changing your personality as you will begin to accept and love yourself for you are.
NOT who ‘think’ and ‘believe’ you are, NOT who ‘think’ and ‘believe’ you’re supposed to be, NOT how you ‘think’ and ‘believe’ you need to be in the world to get what you want.
But who you really are at your core, before all of your conditioning took place, therefore, returning to who you were when you entered this world. Except now you have all the knowledge and understanding you wouldn’t have had back then.
And it’s this what makes going through the Counselling Psychotherapist/Psychotherapist process so worthwhile. Although, of course, not an easy endeavour for anybody to embark on, but what I’m supporting you with, through my blog.
The good news about what you need to do to make your life better…
You can turn your life around to make your life better at any age
When undertaking research for this post, the most common questions I saw popping up were how to turn your life around at 20? 30? 40? 50? 60? 70?
So I’m pleased to tell you, the process for turning your life around at 20, 70 and anywhere else in between, is exactly the same as it is 20 and below or 70 and above.
It makes no difference. Therefore, why it really never is too late to turn your life around since you can grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually at any age.
In addition, this rule of thumb is also applicable to turning your life around after depression, turning your life around after hitting rock bottom, and/or turning your life around after divorce.
The only difference is that depending on your age you may have more experiences to draw on and work through.
Changes you’ll see in yourself after working with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist
1) Confidence in you
As I talk about in my post How Psychotherapy can help you to change your life for the better you will experience a change in how you feel.
As a result, helping you to become happier, and confident in yourself.
In addition, you will have sharpened your relationship-building skills as I talk more about in my post on 12 SKILLS TO LEARN JUST BY BEING YOU (AND WHERE TO LEARN THEM).
Therefore, developing your confidence in letting go of relationships, which aren’t good for you and making new friends, which will support you in creating a life you love.
2) Confidence in your decisions
When you have confidence in yourself, you also have confidence in your life choices and your thoughts and feelings towards the challenging situations taking place in your life.
Therefore, knowing and being able to define what you do and don’t want for you and your life (see:WHAT DO YOU WANT? (HOW TO FIGURE IT OUT AND GET WHAT YOU WANT).
3) The desire to reduce your money spending habits
More confidence in yourself too will also result in you spending less money on things outside of you, such as, clothes, alcohol etc.
As you see less of a need for them.
Therefore, allowing you to keep more money in your pocket to spend on new interests, which is the last thing you’ll gain from working with a Counselling Psychotherapist.
Learn more: HOW TO HAVE FUN WITHOUT ALCOHOL?
4) New interests
The most exciting thing of all, I’d say, is you will gain new passions and motivations with no extra effort working with a Counselling Psychotherapist.
How? Learn more here >>> HOW DO I FIND MY PASSION AND MOTIVATION?.
Summary: A complete guide on what you need to do to make life better
So there you have it.
To make life better, you need to explore your mind (thoughts), body (emotions), and soul (spirituality) in-depth with a Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist so you can identify where it is you need to learn and grow and what new perspective, tools, and practices you can implement into your life to make life better.
Therefore, allowing you to live a life, which does truly make you happy.
Now over to you…
In the comments section below, please let me know if you think you would benefit from taking a deep-diving exploration into your own mind, body, and soul?
And don’t forget to subscribe to my email newsletter to ensure you stay in the know about how working with a Counselling Psychotherapist will support you to develop personally and professionally.
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